Year 1, Week 7: Results!

We were pleased to have three very varied entries to choose from this time around. The mishap on Saturday had us wondering if we'd get any at all!

Honorable Mention

Ophelia Leong's Neighborly Duties

Rin: This was a fun one. I liked how Matthew wasn't really all that interested, a nice twist on the typical vampire/human scenario. My favorite line was "Superglue dripped onto the floor like sap and Elena hid the paintbrush in the trashcan," because that bit of description puts a vivid picture in my head of how it would squish under the feet when he stood up. Nice job.

Mars: This felt both done and not done--I like to imagine Matthew suddenly jumping out of his shoes and driving a hidden stake through Elena's heart (I also wonder where she got that superglue that doesn't dry for five minutes? I'd like some)--but it did make a nice little story arc for a flash. Matthew's obvious disdain/disinterest was a nice touch, as opposed to the the normal love-at-first-sight scenarios in typical YA Urban Fantasy fiction. Something else I'm just noticing: the word style is done well here; it feels flowing and quite . . . surreptitious. Stealthy, flowing, cat-like. Good job!

(Bonus points to you for making me learn a new word: surreptitious. Also, Elena's "no man should be able to resist me!" thought made me think of a Mockingjay parody (observe lyrics "Gale and I have chemistry . . ."))

First Runner Up

M T Decker's Hypothetically Speaking

Rin: I love crime-scene type shows, so this story was a treat for me! The dialogue was good and flowed well, giving me a good idea of the character's personalities even without the help of much description. I like how instead of having it where the answer is clear, the characters went through a bunch of different scenarios in which someone might have a use for it. Especially enjoyed the mention of a real-life forensic science thing, fingerprint fumigation. Well done!

Mars: (I forgot to finish this I'm so sorry) Dialogue-heavy stories are something I'm generally very fond of; it pleased me to see a flash that carries a plot well through mostly dialogue. I am left wondering what conclusion Gina was drawn to, but that feels like part of the charm for the speculating, progressive tone of the piece. I like the look into Gina and her husband's relationship--we see one side of them in the brainstorming session, but there's a hint towards something else; nicely done character dynamics without being flashy. Nice work.

And, without further ado, the moment you've all been waiting for--

Y1W7 Winner!

Josh Bertetta

with A Sticky Situation

Rin: I loved this one! The mysterious feel was good and I liked how I was kept guessing how the super glue would tie in until the very end. My favorite line was "He didn’t care about her deformed ear, her abnormal arm, or club foot. He loved her for who she was," because the sweetness of it really did a good job of making me question my own intuition and whether I was reading more suspicious things into what came above it, making that last line really pop!

Mars: It took me a few re-reads to understand exactly was going on, and then I had a little "Awww" moment. The suspense was artfully played up to drive home the last line--what exactly his greatest work was. The reader can tell how obviously he dotes upon her--even before his declaration of love--which demonstrates excellent characterization. This is a really cute piece!

A Sticky Situation 

“Why do you have a pound of superglue—you know what? Never mind. I don’t want to know…I’ll just trump it up to another one of your idiosyncrasies.” She smiled, and tucked her hair behind her good ear, leaving her thick auburn locks covering the other. 

He asked her if she’d like a drink; she accepted. 

They sat across from one another, the tub of superglue on the mahogany coffee table, and sipped the brandy in silence. He stared into her large round eyes, then let his own admire the perfect symmetry of her face. A paragon of beauty. 

“Can I use your restroom?” 

“Of course. Shall I help you?” 

“Thank you, but I think I can manage.” She propped herself up on her cane, and hobbled toward the hallway. “Third door on the left, right?” 

“That’s right.” 

He refilled her drink, and waited, musing over the work to be done—his greatest work, his magnum opus. 

Upon her return, she thanked him for refilling her drink, sat, and together they shared hopes and dreams and thoughts on life. She liked him, and she knew he knew it; he loved her and he knew she knew it.

He didn’t care about her deformed ear, her abnormal arm, or club foot. He loved her for who she was. But she neither loved herself nor believed her worthy of love. 

She took a big sip of brandy, set the tumbler down, and yawned big and heavy. Her perfect cheeks flushed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I—I—”

Her eyelids grew heavy; she eked out an embarrassed smile, and passed out. 

He cradled her in his arms, brushed back her hair, and kissed her forehead; he bent at the knee and picked up the bottle of “Dr. Frankenstein’s Medical Grade Biotic Super Glue.”

 Great job, everybody! See you on Saturday (this time on time, heh)~

Year 1, Week 5: Results!

Yes! All the corpses! Great stories this time 'round. Horror and mystery and humor--loving the variety!

Honorable Mention

Steph Ellis' Due to Unforeseen Circumstances the End of the World is Postponed

Rin: This story made me laugh out loud. The comical banter between this incompetent bad-guy family gives the piece a light, fun atmosphere and a refreshing twist to the concept of the End of the World. The characters and their relationships with one another felt well developed for the length of the piece, each a distinct personality. My favorite bit was "Perhaps that's for the best dear," said Ma, patting His arm fondly. "Now, why don't you sit down with us, have a bit of cake. You're looking a little peaky. You've been overdoing it again, haven't you?" because it amuses me with mental pictures of an evil, doting mother and her spoiled, evil-warlord son. Very well done!

Si: Loved the dialogue in this story! That poor corpse. Just on the edge of stardom--! I was amused by the idea of The End being postponed due to inefficiency and mistakes on the Evil side. The last half of the story especially had some excellent lines of dialogue: "This spell creates a corpse! I wanted you to create me a corps!" We get a good sense of the characters despite the fact that it's a short piece. Enjoyed the transition of red-eyed terrifying Menace to resigned and tired Boss. Last line was excellent. A fun and entertaining story! 

First Runner Up

Josh Bertetta's The House in the Woods

Rin: Oooh, I love the creepy atmosphere to this piece! My favorite line was 'The deeper they ran, the further back they travelled in time, the more the body count piled up, dressed in generations' because it gives an 'ancient evil' flavor to the piece that I enjoy. It raises the hair on the back of my neck just imagining it! The pace was well done with the time rushing past them, building up the tension excellently as they try to find their missing daughter, ending perfectly with those last two lines. Nothing more sinister than giggling and invitations to play from unknown things in a haunted house!

Si: You fit a lot into very few words! I loved that you had both dialogue and more descriptive passages that kept the plot moving. The innocence of Princess contrasted with the horror of the corpses is very well done and makes the ending especially creepy. Can't say it enough, EXCELLENT ending--you stopped just at the right point and the phrasing is PERFECT. Loved this line especially: "They screamed her name; it fled through the house in a panic." Well done on mounting the tension line by line. When the story starts, the reader isn't sure what kind of a story it's going to be--but the building suspense soon informs us. Excellent creepy story!

Y1W5 Winner!

mtdecker

with The Shelley Boys are Back

Rin: I liked the modern-day Frankenstein feel of this story and I'm impressed with how well the characters were shown almost exclusively through their dialogue. The brevity of the story's pacing and the distinct impression that this has been an ongoing problem made the tension between the brothers palpable. Mad-scientist Philip was my favorite character with his distraction tactics and flippant attitude toward the whole situation. Going into the story, I expected Martin to break down and help Philip, so Igor killing him was rather unexpected. Kuddos on an excellent flash fic!

Si: Ah! The ending! The story! The characters, though we don't "see" them through description, feel completely real just through dialogue--well done! We get a sense of both the brothers just through the most brief of actions, and their short responses to each other. I love that there's two clear voices here. I also liked the way that we get a sense that this isn't the first time Martin has come home to such a scene ... or has he participated himself? Curious. The touch of naming the assistant Igor also says a lot in very few words ... and the understated yet still surprising death leaves a lot to the imagination and is very effective. Again, tone is maintained throughout the piece with no breaks and we can feel the tension between the two brothers as they stand over a corpse that one of them didn't expect to see. Wonderful story!

The winning story!

The Shelley Boys are Back

"Well, I think this just got awkward."

"There's a corpse on the floor… so… yeah, I think ‘this just got awkward’ is an understatement.”

“I can explain…”

Martin shook his head. He’d had enough of his brother’s blase approach to life. “I have an M-16 that says ‘I’m not buying anything you’re sellin’ brah.”

“You weren’t supposed to be home, yet…”

“Again, not explaining here… just drawing things out.”

“Well. He was supposed to be… gone… before you got back.”

“Gone?” Martin sighed. “You still using Martinez’s cleaning service?”

“Nah, gone as in Igor would have gotten him down to the lab before you got home.”

“And now?”

Martin felt a cold chill in his brother’s smile as he heard a rustle behind him.

Philip shrugged. “Now Igor’s in place…”

He sighed as Igor finished making work of his brother.“Looks like there’ll be two corpses to reanimate now.”

“Awkward,” Igor agreed.

“When’s dad due back?”

Until next time! *Rin and Si vanish in a swirl of cloaks*

Year 1, Week 4: Results!

My gif won't work :(

Given the CAT prompt, I don't think we should be surprised that we got a number of RULE BREAKING SUBMISSIONS AAAHHH *Si faints away*

We have decided to disregard your most terrible rule breaking habits and proceed as though you were all law-abiding citizens of Cracked Flash Fiction Island. THIS TIME O.O.

Honorable Mention

David Shakes' The Road Behind, the Road Ahead

Mars: A lot of emotion is packed into this piece, even though it's a little rough around the edges. The last two lines seemed a pivotal character development to me; throughout the story, we see him clinging desperately to the idea that she might still be alive, but he lets go at the end; he accepts that there's nothing to be done, but he might be able to save a different life. Excellent piece. (Note: Don't think I didn't see you breaking the rules (#2) there, Mister. At least you're in good company. Y'all know who you are o.o)

Si: I loved the intense emotions in this piece, the interspersed thoughts/memories of the main character and his actions as he finds the cat. Excellent "show, not tell"--we can feel the emotions in the main character without ever being told exactly what they are, which makes it more powerful. It's a very immersive piece. Well done!

First Runner Up

Steph Ellis' The Family Room

Mars: This is the sort of story that I had to read twice--when I hit the ending, I had the revelation moment, and then the horror set in as I read it again to get everything. I mean, it was creepy before that, with the taxidermy and everything, but then there's that whole, "Oh snap. It looks like his father didn't abandon him after all," moment. A most chilling tale. 

Si: AH! This, like mars, took me a minute to "get" the ending, BUT WHEN I DID ... great horror. I loved the description of the empty, listless house--you get the feel of dust covering tables, dim lighting, musty smells. Loved the way the tone was maintained throughout the piece, the theme of family always being together ... never leaving. The main character goes back to find out what kind of a person his grandfather was, and man does he find out. Great understated horror--where there isn't too much description of what the horror is, but when it dawns on the reader it makes an impression.

Without further ado, the moment you've all been waiting for--

Y1W1 Winner!

Josh Bertetta

with Felineage

Mars: Firstly, it amused me that you actually used the photo prompt. Secondly, excellent story. The creepiness vibe was pulled off very well here, particularly because of the elements used--eyes in the darkness, and hearing voices. Not even the light of a campfire can keep a character safe at this point, as any genre-savvy reader would know. The ending of the story inspires a large "DUN DUN DUNNN" reaction at the end. The slight relief in the middle only makes the end realization that much more poignant. (Also, markup works. Good to know.)

Si: Very creepy story! Love the way that the reader feels the creepiness before the main character does--while he's offering the cat a strip of meat, we're sitting tight in our seats waiting for something awful to happen. The eyes! The voice! Great tension as the story progressed. Poor main character, trusting to his comforting fire, while the eyes surround him. I loooved the last line: "There was laughter then, and a thousand yellow eyes.", very well phrased and very creepy. I'm rather amused at how many of you guys took the cat prompt and wrote a creepy/scary tale (my cat would approve). The tension is handled excellently, with some moments of almost-relief but a constant sense of foreboding. Great story!

Felineage 

The cat stared at him. 

The only way he knew it was a cat because of the tapetum lucidum. Good thing cats gave themselves away like that; otherwise there’d be no way to discern their presence in a dark such as this. 

The fire cracked beside him and he said, hand outstretched, “Here kitty kitty.” He plucked a piece of moist chicken from the bone and tossed it a few feet in front of him. “Here kitty kitty kitty.” 

But the cat, beyond the safety of the firelight, remained, as it were, uninterested in anything but him. He averted his eyes but for a second as he dug into his chicken leg and the cat was gone, vanished into the night. 

A branch snapped behind him. 

He jerked around and smiled, “Oh there you are. You’re a sneaky little fellow aren’t you? You sure you don’t want some chicken? I’ve got more than enough for the both of us.” 

He tossed another morsel the cat’s way. 

It meowed as cats should and he could have sworn he heard a voice from somewhere say “Soon.” 

He looked over both shoulders but the firelight’s radius provided him a consolatory comfort. 

Then another pair of appeared, substantially higher than the other and he convinced himself his second guest perched on a low tree branch. “Does your friend want some chicken too?” He tossed it a little further into the dark, listened to the rustling of the brush, and watched (admittedly with relief) that second pair of eyes, more phosphorescent than the first, disappear. 

Then that voice again, saying “Soon.”

Chance stood and took from the fire a long branch, less than half of it a bright orange smoldering mix of ember and flame. 

There was laughter then, and a thousand yellow eyes.

Congratulations and excellent work, everybody! See you all this Saturday for Week 5!

(Looks like everyone who placed this time around was a Flash Dog! You'll have to tell the rest of the pack to rise to the challenge.)