Friday, October 28, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 2, Week 14

Welcome back to another round of Cracked Flash!

RULES

Judge This Week: Si

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). One entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT! 

Results announced: Next Wednesday afternoon.

Remember: Your entry must begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories, they're for inspiration (and sometimes our amusement)).

Prompt 

She watched the moon from the cracks in the wall.

Year 2, Week 13: Results!

Okay, guys, sorry for being a terribad person! I totally forgot about CFFC this week (I literally have no excuse today, other than I knew there was something I was supposed to be doing, but couldn't remember. I didn't have any homework due, after all...). 

Honorable Mention 

Cassandra Day (and friends) with Oh, Christmas Tree

This is kind of a frustrating piece for me, because it's intriguing and interesting, but it's not a piece of flash fiction as-is. It feels like the beginning of a longer story--the plot isn't contained, the backstory is hardly touched, and there's no resolution. We can assume that these Them abused her, she somehow escaped them, and now they're onto her tail; that's pretty much all we know from reading this. A resolution would be the greatest asset to this piece. There's a lot of potential here!

First Runner Up

Bill Engleson with Some Reflections of the Passing of the Poet, Walter Hammersley

Okay, I admit it: the poetry is what drew me to this piece. I also confess that I tend not to read titles before I read the pieces, so I was confused for the first couple read-throughs what in the world was going on in this piece (I had just thought Walter very reclusive and refusing to come out of some room); I didn't figure out that he was dead until I was pulling the title for the winning page (I can be dense, at times). So, this is mostly focusing on the poem, which I felt was strong enough to carry the piece (even if the characters didn't think it was all that great!).  The language captivated me ("shackled wings" and "pending avalanche" and such; the juxtaposition of light and dark also got me, since it generates a compelling mental image). The rest of the piece is fairly unremarkable--I felt it lacked conflict (it was, as the title suggested, more of a passive reflection to me than anything), but I really like the poem. Call me weird. 


Y2W13 Winner: 

Benjamin Langley!

with The Mađioničar

"Each of his footsteps left a print of light, that was snuffed out when I trod upon it." This piece was very alluring, I think, because of the imagery presented. I loved the character dynamic here between the brothers; they seem polar opposites of each other, and therefore excellent foils to introduce in a story. The eagerness of Nikola versus the trepidation of Senka; the light of the younger brother and the darkness of the older--it feels like this piece embodied light and darkness into two characters; youthful hope and exuberance, and aged fear and superstition. Good job!
The Mađioničar 
Bulbs of light hung from every tree branch as if tiny lamps had been lit inside upon one. Inspecting them closer, I realised that they were apples, the light bursting through their thin rose-red skins, no gaps with which to insert a match, no hint of a flame inside, only pure light.  

I gazed towards the house; they said that he was a mađioničar - a magician, and that’s why his house and garden were forbidden, and why my little brother was so keen to explore. 
Seeing his hand reach out, I cried, “Stop!” Though he withdrew, the contact with the branch was sufficient to disturb the illuminated fruit’s hold on the tree. 
After its disconnection from the branch, its light faded, only for a burst of sparks to spring from the ground upon impact and then shower down.  
He reached to pick it up. He turned to look at me, read the concern in my face, and dismissed it with a wave. “Relax, Senka.” 
He knew no fear, and, while not yet ten years old, he had always been pulled towards the light.  
He picked up the apple that I would never touch for fear of bewitchment. Without hesitation he took a bite.  
The last of the luminescence from the fruit passed into his mouth, and glowed through his cheeks.  
“Come on,” he said, moving towards the house. Each of his footsteps left a print of light, that was snuffed out when I trod upon it.  
He did not believe in good, or evil, only science, but I could follow him no longer.  
As he closed upon the house, light burst from every window. How could someone light all of the lamps in an instant?  
As the door opened I heard a voice. “Welcome! We have been expecting you, Nikola.”

Friday, October 21, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 2, Week 13!

It was really exciting to have so many entries last week for our new judge! Thanks for making that happen, everybody!

RULES

Judge This Week: Mars

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). One entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT! 

Results announced: Next Thursday afternoon.

Remember: Your entry must begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories, they're for inspiration (and sometimes our amusement)).

Prompt 

Bulbs of light hung from every tree branch.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Year 2, Week 12: Results!

I really enjoyed this week’s entries. Well done, everyone. I got a little carried away, wearing my editor’s hat (I’m currently editing a couple of my stories), but I finally found the top three.

I did get a jolt of surprise when I went to look for the names of the authors that go with the stories…

Please read the rules: the competition runs from midnight to midnight (24 hours). Any submissions made after the deadline will not be considered. Thank you.

Anyhow, here’s the results for Cracked Flash: Year 2, Week 12.

(If you're still interested in guest judging, send an email our way! crackedflash@gmail.com)

Honorable Mention

Firdaus with Witchcraft

I like the premise. You probably shouldn’t jump around in time as much as you did in this short story. Keep it to when she’s eight and show how she makes friends – and the end can be her hope of the future. Also, she can tell the witches why she fled from home. Keeping the story in one time, makes it more immediate and thus more compelling. I like the distinction between humans and witches. Mm, will she really turn her stepmother into a toad and keep her in a jar? Good job.

First Runner Up

Carin Marais with One Touch

I liked this, especially the end. Though the first paragraph is a little too long: divide it into shorter paragraphs to help with pacing. Your heroine is fleeing, after all. Fiancée is a woman, fiancé is a man. Shrivelled (two l’s). Should use a colon, not a semi-colon, in last paragraph, e.g. “Witches: healers who took on the wounds of those they healed with a single touch.” Perhaps show a little sadness earlier on that her fiancé is also hunting her: e.g. even the man I love. Interesting premise. How did she know that she could heal him? How did she know that the witches would take her in? Well done.

Y2W12 WINNER:

Bill Engleson

with Which Witch Did You Wind Up With?

The story immediately drew me in. Interesting descriptions. I liked how the witch the strange woman meets up with is the narrator’s neighbour. Personally, I would’ve used dashes instead of commas “…that even witches – especially witches – would have a website.” for effect. Excellent story.

Which Witch Did You Wind Up With? 
“I found sanctuary with the witches. I did, you know.”  
The wind was gently blowing from the west and I was intent on looking out at the ruffled water in the Sound. She had sidled up to me like a scrunched-up transit user with boundary issues might on a crowded bus. 
“Pardon,” I said, trying to be polite but hopefully giving a clear message that I enjoyed this quiet ten-minute ferry ride and didn’t really want to chat with a stranger. 
“I have found a haven with the witches.”  
I looked at her. Not young. Not old. Mid-forties, maybe. The wind had stirred up her thick dark hair and was whipping it around like fat brown leaves on the ground. She had all her teeth. They looked original.  
“That’s good,” I offered, hoping to put an end to the interruption. 
“I’ve never met them, you know? The witches,” she added. “They have a website.” 
I nodded. It seemed reasonable these days that even witches, especially witches, would have a website. Or a Facebook site. Something cyber, anyways. 
“Yup, it’s called A World of Witches Awaits.” 
“Catchy,” I said. I could feel myself being drawn into her natter. How difficult, I thought, would it be for her to wander away from me and let me enjoy the peace and quiet? And then I started feeling selfish. The poor woman was obviously thrilled with her journey. 
“So, it’s here on this Island? The Witch Sanctuary?” 
“Oh, yes. But you don’t have to actually be a witch to stay. I’m a Baptist.”  
“Ah. Well, so you’ll stay there a while?” 
“Yes. They’ll meet me at the wharf. And then whisk me away.”  
With that, the ferry docked, she walked ashore and shook hands with my neighbour, Charlotte.  
Son of a gun, I thought.

Thank you all for your participation! Until Saturday…

Friday, October 14, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 2, Week 12!

HEEYYY GUYS GOOD NEWS! Ronel Janse van Vuuren has graciously volunteered her services as a judge on a once-a-month basis. Ronel has won two competitions from Year 1 (I don't have stats on Year 2 yet for anybody), and we're very excited to have her judging for us and y'all. Give her your best!

(If you're still interested in guest judging, send an email our way! crackedflash@gmail.com)

RULES

Judge This Week: Ronel 

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). One entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT! 

Results announced: Next Thursday afternoon.

Remember: Your entry must begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories, they're for inspiration (and sometimes our amusement)).

Prompt 

I found sanctuary with the witches.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Year 2, Week 11: Results!

Reviews are gonna be a little shorter today than last week, since I'm having trouble focusing on anything (I also forgot until 6 pm that this was happening today, but shhhh)! Be sure to get enough sleep, guys. It sucks not to. 

^Accurate^
^We're trying to avoid this scenario^

First Runner Up

Daisy Warwick with Morale

This piece made me angry (in a good way). Sam's managing is something most of us have encountered at one point or another (especially women, really), and it's really difficult to not punch people like that in the face. He came through to me as a strongly unlikeable character. 

I felt like the build up to the end didn't pay off very well; we aren't aware until that last line that Sam might be romantically interested in Libby (if that indeed is what is happening (and for how misogynist he sounds earlier, it's suprising)). If there had just been a line or two earlier specifically foreshadowing this event (Sam calling them by name, but getting Libby's wrong, and/or being more soft on Libby than he is with Rachel), then the ending wouldn't have been so abrupt and jarring. 

The building blocks for Libby and Rachel's characterization are in place and solid, so it was easy to get a feel for each of them; though they could be a little more nuanced, I appreciated the dynamic of the three characters in this piece. Good job!

Y2W11 WINNER:

Emma Rapp!

with Hiding

Sometimes, a little bit of adorableness is just what the doctor ordered; I find myself smiling every time I reread this piece. Its happy tone and realistic set-up feels like a little slice out of reality (looks like I'm on a slice-of-life kick tonight) jumped straight onto the page, though it's not a particularly enthralling piece conflict and plot wise. Though I don't have any kids of my own, I've been right where this dad is with other people's kids (babysitting sure is exciting, innit?), so this piece was very relatable to me. The characterization was also pretty spot on, which is probably why this won a place in my heart--her glee at the game and fun, and his 'siiigh; we're going to be at this all day' attitude. Great job here!

Hiding 

"This isn't what I meant by invisible." I thought as I walked outside to see my daughter dressed in camouflage attire. She was standing up against a tree holding her breath so as not to move an inch from the place she chose to blend into. I'm assuming she had rosy cheeks from the lack of oxygen. If there wasn't black and green marker smeared across her face I might have been able to see her scarlet complexion. 
 
"I wonder where she's hiding?" I shouted while pacing the backyard. She snickered but didn't reveal herself. 
"Is she behind the tree?" I asked to no one in particular as I walked past her and around the trunk of the tree. The master of disguise again stayed motionless. 
"Maybe she's under the porch?" I walked over to the porch and bent over. 
"Oh no!" I yelled as she jumped on my back, knocking me to the ground. 
"You didn't find me," she said with a smile on her face. "I get to hide again!" She screamed at me pushing me inside to count, thus starting the monotonous routine that would be the rest of my day.


Thank you all for your participation! Hope to see you this Saturday! (We may have a guest judge this coming week; stay tuned!)

I have a theme tonight

Friday, October 7, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 2, Week 11!

Hey y'all! Back again. 

Remember that we're on the look for a judge or guest judges! Email us at crackedflash@gmail.com

RULES

Judge This Week: Mars

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). One entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT! 

Results announced: Next Thursday afternoon.

Remember: Your entry must begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories, they're for inspiration (and sometimes our amusement)).

Prompt 

"This isn't what I meant by 'invisible'."


I like the internet, okay


Thursday, October 6, 2016

Year 2, Week 10: Results!

So, real talk: college is pretty much kicking both Si and me in the butt (Si's gotta write like a million grant essays), so CFFC might be rough for the next little while. We haven't decided as of yet, but CFFC may be transitioning to a twice-a-month basis, since a lot of our time is consumed by college. (Plan on it being run this next week, though!) 

We love running this competition and have a lot of fun with it and all y'all, but we agree that it cannot be allowed to negatively impact our education/careers. There will be weeks (like this one) where Si is planned to judge that I'll step in for (because Si's schedule is a lot more crazy than mine), and we may have to call off some weeks all together due to time conflicts in both of our schedules (I'm looking at you, November & finals). 

We are on the look for another judge, and are open to guest judges. If you or anyone you know would like to take a stab at judging some flash fiction, contact us at crackedflash@gmail.com. We would prefer people who have participated in the competition in the past (and remember it's never too late to participate!), but other experience is not necessary--only an interest in flash fiction. Si, Rin, and I had no prior experience judging flash fiction competitions before we started this up--we just thought it would be fun and rewarding, and it has been. We always strive to encourage people to be better than before, and to do better ourselves; the best way to do that is through experience. We'd love to have you on the team, even if only temporarily. There's no soul-selling or contracts involved; if you wanna judge, but can only do it once, we can definitely work with that. There's very little restriction in our judging style, though we have a couple of general guidelines we usually adhere to--we'll fill you in if you're interested!

Now, onto the judging. I've got an exam to take (and lots of calculus homework that's built up . . . shhh), so I only had time for two of these this time around. In case you didn't read through all of that up there, it's-a-me, Mars, judging this round. (Also, you all should know I'm taking a grammar class this semester; you have been warned.) 

First Runner-Up

Jeff Rowlands with Clearing

The surreal tone of this piece is alluring. And--bear with me, I'm becoming a grammar nerd--I really appreciate the variety in the sentence structures in this piece (though there could be a few less sentences that start with 'He' or 'She', particularly when they're straight in a row). I'm finding that using be-verbs in most sentences is common for many people, and that's what can attribute to the feeling of repetition. Here, however, the number of transitive and intransitive verbs ("action verbs) largely outweighs the be-verbs. I believe this is the main reason this piece has such a flow to it. On the other hand, there are a number of grammatical issues--consider:
Weary, walking through the woods somehow he’d managed to lose the trail, had been wandering for hours when he came open a little clearing, an oasis of calm. 
The meaning of the sentence is mostly clear, but it's very convoluted, grammar-wise, and might confuse a reader. Adjusting a few things leads to something like: 
Weary from walking through the woods, somehow he'd managed to lose the trail, and had been wandering for hours when he came to a little, open clearing; an oasis of calm. 
The tone doesn't quite fit the original, so more tweaking would be in order, but that's the general gist. Most other sentences with errors have only one or two and aren't as potentially confusing. Some could probably be left alone, as it is the author's prerogative to choose to include purposeful errors for flow and style (the key word being purposeful, of course). The content doesn't particularly enthrall me (it's a peculiar (in a good way) idea, but it's not very conflict-driven), but it's still good--the flow and surreal nature of the writing is what makes this piece. Keep up the good work!

Y2W10 Winner:

Firdaus!

with The Deal

The thing that grabbed my attention the most about this piece is how callously the people being sold are talked about. "Pieces" instead of "people". It reflects a lot of the real state of the world when people don't actually want to address the ugly side of society and how we interact with others. Dehumanizing someone you're going to murder makes it a lot easier to do the job.  

I believe the last line was probably supposed to be a bit more plot-twisty of a reveal, but I knew from the moment 'brain' was mentioned that it was a zombie piece. The other bits of foreshadowing were great--the way the woman regarded the main character, shuffling, an ugly face, clumsily sitting, a "hider", "eyes as dead as mine"--but there's no pretense when 'brains' (or even 'human flesh') enters the picture. The great reveal would be more exciting if it hasn't been stated outright (brains being the equivalent of being stated outright). 
The stench of live human flesh made me anxious and hungry. I thought about her brain pulsing in her pretty skull, then I quickly shook the thought off.
might become
The stench filling the room made me anxious and hungry, and I stared at the woman for a moment. Then, quickly, I shook the thoughts off. 
('Pretty skull' could probably be included, but I got a lot more of a creeper-psychopathic vibe when I read it that way.) If the plan is for the last line to be a kicker, the suspense has to build instead of being let out of the gate at the get-go. 

I was very pleased by the way this subverted a lot of zombie-story tropes, however. The humans and the zombies cutting a deal is generally out of the picture because zombies have no sentience, but this way opens up a lot more avenues for story-telling. It's kind of like smashing vampires and zombies together, and I think it's really cool (because now we can have zombie spies (e.g. hiders), and spies are cool). It also raises questions about the nature of these zombies--by 'breeding', does the main character mean popping new zombie babies (which would certainly be very different from the norm), or turning people? Do they still smell like rotting flesh? How did the transformation change them, precisely? Etc., etc.,. Good job on this piece!

The Deal 
"Welcome, we've been expecting you." she smiled, her smile as fake as her eyelashes. Perfectly made up red lips curled upwards, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.  
I shuffled nervously into the room. The stench of live human flesh made me anxious and hungry. I thought about her brain pulsing in her pretty skull, then I quickly shook the thought off. I was here to negotiate a deal, focus was necessary. A man sat next to her, immaculately dressed in a fine suit and tie. He didn't look at me just stared ahead, and why would he, I wasn't a pretty face. His expression was inscrutable.  
The room was dimly lit, just a lamp hanging over the large table they sat at. I clumsily sat down in a chair across from them.  
She pushed a sheet of paper towards me.  
"We have four thousand pieces to give you. You must sign this document. It states you will not attack the city for the next twelve months," her smile was gone and she was all businesslike.  
"We were promised six thousand—" I began but the man cut me short.  
"Take the deal," he stressed, "we have enough firepower to wipeout your entire species." 
He was still not looking at me and I could feel my anger rise. I glared at him and that's when I noticed the thick makeup he was wearing.  
A hider! He was one of us.  
He suddenly looked at me, his eyes as dead as mine, pleading me to take the deal. I too didn't want unnecessary bloodshed. Four thousand human livestock would be sufficient for breeding and eating for a year. 

I signed the paper. Yes, once upon a time I had a name, now just another zombie.

Great going, everyone! Thanks for all your participation. See you all on Saturday!