Saturday, January 30, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 26

Judge This Week: Mars

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday (late afternoon).

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Photo prompts are added for inspiration only (and our amusement) and do not have to be included in your entry)

Prompt

"Raise the flag!"


(Si's better at the meme/picture thing than I am, but hey, pictures!)

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Year 1, Week 25: Results!

Wow, there were quite a few entries this week! It's great to see so many participants. I have to say, it was tough choosing favorites from them. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Now on to the winners!

Honorable Mention

Stephen Shirres' Corridor of Doors

I love modern retellings of fairy tales and this one reminded me in a way of one of my favorites, Rumplestiltskin, so it pulled me into the story immediately. The tone had an interesting classic grim fairy tale meets gritty western feel to me and the quick pace matched it well. My biggest criticism for the story was that dialogue didn't flow as well as it could have, feeling a bit clipped in places to me. My favorite line was 'His laughter echoed off the walls. A sound that would make dead men shiver.' It gives chills just to imagine it! The way that the main character tricked the fairy made me laugh, and I liked the twist on the usual iron-sensitivity that I'm used to seeing being given to fairies. Good job on this one!

First Runner Up

Bill Engleson's The Session

This story's little details made it easy to see the inside of the institution and I like how the pov character seems to embody the cold, sterile feeling of an institution like that, even more so that we can't blame her for her treatment of Maxine. This brought the character to life for me, making her simultaneously believable and relateable as she doles out her harsh justice. Because of that, my favorite line was 'I have betrayed her.' I enjoyed the description of Maxine, building on the truth that many killers don't appear like dangerous people. The pace was good, but was slowed down a bit with the telling of the teen's death and I wish that we'd discovered why Maxine killed her daughter. All in all, this was a good story. Well done!


Winner of Y1W24!

AndyLvndr

with No Illumination

I loved, loved, loved the tension in this one! It drew me in easily with all that delicious tension, right from the get go. The dialogue has a natural flow to it and the description gave me just enough details to easily envision the setting without bogging anything down or slowing down the pace. The husband and wife were well developed, with voices that were clearly distinct from one another and a realistic conflict of goals. My favorite line was definitely 'She was right. They could afford it. At least, they could if he didn’t have another family. Another wife. Children.' Not only was it an unexpected twist, it made me feel for the wife's situation and deepened the already well developed conflict between their goals. Congrats!

No Illumination
“Don’t open that door,” said the wife. She sat up in bed and pushed the purple duvet down. “We need to discuss this.”

The husband’s hand slipped from the brass lever handle, his feet cold on the wooden floor. “Can’t we do this another time?”

“When? You’re in the city Monday to Friday. This isn’t something to discuss over Skype in five minutes stolen from the trading floor.”

The husband stared at the way her black hair knelt on her shoulders. He smiled at how her nose wrinkled when she was annoyed and smelt the perfume she wore in bed. He loved her. However, this wasn’t a discussable issue. It was black or white. There was no gray area in having a baby. “You know how I feel. My job is all-consuming and with the economy on the slip again, we’ll be busy. This house isn’t big enough, plus you’re alone all week one. It’s just not right.”

“My mother will help, and the baby will be fine in our room at first. You make good money,” the wife said. “In fact, I don’t know where it all goes”.

“I work hard, damn hard. I deserve to spend a little money how I want,” said the husband, nostrils flaring. “I give you enough to buy food, run the house and yoga lessons. Don’t I? Well don’t I?” 

“I was just saying we can afford a baby.”

She was right. They could afford it. At least, they could if he didn’t have another family. Another wife. Children.

“I said another time.”

The wife lay down and pulled the duvet up to her chin. “Turn the light off.”

The husband flicked the light switch. In the darkness, he reached for the brass handle.

 Thanks again to everyone who participated and we hope to see you back next week!

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 25!

Judge This Week: Rin

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday (late afternoon).

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition.

Prompt

"Don't open that door!"

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Year 1, Week 24: Results!

Welcome to the results roll for Week 24 (in which we had NINE entries! Thanks to everyone who participated--it was a great thing to wake up to on Sunday morning! So exciting :) ). I, Mars, will be your only judge today (and here's to hoping Si is doing well on her plane trips and interviews for fancy!colleges)!

Again, the memes were kind of Si's thing, so, well . . . have this cat!

This is actually my sister's cat, Zelda.
Zelda likes to play fetch with hairbands.
You're welcome.
Sufficiently distracted by the cute kitty? Good, good. Now we'll move onto results!

Honorable Mention

Liana Challender's The Drive

I like the premise of the piece--dad left years(?) before, girlfriend and brother go missing, and there's a surprise!flashdrive that might have answers on it, and I like the emotion of the mother. Unfortunately, there wasn't much else in the way of content here to talk about because the story isn't finished. It feels like the beginning of a short story or novel, since it doesn't have a full story arc. The problem--the missing people--wasn't solved and the story doesn't give any answers as to what might have caused their disappearances. So, while I thought the writing had potential, it wasn't actually flash fiction. 

First Runner Up

Firdaus' Some Body

I liked the opening scene with the whole "Am I dead?" question going on; definitely an engaging hook, particularly when we get to wondering what the heck the main character is doing in a lab--not a hospital, but a lab. I liked Jai's character fairly immediately--he definitely brings to mind a sort of mad scientist, cackling excitedly over his invention. 

The first conflict is resolved quickly and we don't get another conflict until just a few paragraphs to the end, which felt more for humor's sake than for plot. This isn't to say I didn't appreciate the humor--it made me laugh! An enjoyable piece. 

Winner of Y1W24!

Kim Pemberton 

with The Follow

The first thing that caught my attention about this piece was actually the peaceful/happy resolution of the story. Frequently, I like dark flash fictions (what better way to resolve a story than to kill everybody? Lol!), but I appreciated how the tension was building up for something horrible to happen, but then it didn't. 

I felt that some of the actions of the main character were not congruent with the tension of the piece--if I got home and somebody had been following me and I was worried enough that I was considering calling someone, I probably wouldn't go into the kitchen to get a drink and sit around for a few minutes before I checked what was up outside; I'd probably be making sure I knew where something heavy and/or sharp was at, and watching through the windows until they'd gone. I might even have my phone out in case I thought I should call someone.

The tension in paragraphs two and three was excellent; I could definitely picture the situation and sympathize with the main character. Enjoyable piece, and good writing. 
The Follow

“I told you it was only a theory,” I told myself when I came into the house. 
Dark night. I was coming home from school, head pounding, feet hurt, so much studying to do. But I could not sit down. Not for a second. I made sure my doors and windows were locked. Curtains closed. Turned the lights on. So far, silence. All I heard was my heart want to come out of my chest. 
When I was coming home, a man was following me from the subway. He was wearing a white sweatshirt, jeans, and black boots. He was walking in my direction. I tried to go on the other side of the street, he was still right behind me. I didn’t know what to do? Should I call the police? Should I call my boyfriend, Mike?

My dog Nelly came downstairs to greet me. “Hi, little guy. I’m sorry you were home alone today.” I went to the kitchen, opened the fridge, grabbed a can of beer, and took a sip. The house was still quiet. I was afraid to turn on the television. I need to know what’s going on the local news if there are any suspicious activities going on in the neighborhood. But I could not sit down one bit. I was still worrying about that man that followed me home. 
I took a look out of the window, I saw the guy. The exact man by his description. He was walking slower, closer to my house. I place my beer on the table and went to my phone to call 911. I stopped for a second. He pulled off his hood, and went to my neighbor’s house. It was the owner’s son. That was a relief. Time for bed. “Come Nelly.”


Congratulations, all! Hope to see you all again next week. NINE entries this time around! Let's see if we can't top that next week :)

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 24

Judge This Week: Mars

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday (late afternoon).

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition.

Prompt

"I TOLD you it was only a theory!"

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Year 1, Week 23: Results!

Welcome back to the results of last week's competition! We're excited to bring you the next installment of the Cracked Flash Fiction Competition!

Before we roll to our winner (just the one this time--we've been a little tight on energy and time!), we must announce that this will be Si's last time judging until the 10th of March. That means Rin and Mars will be alternating judging each week until The Return of Silicon. Guest judges are a possibility during this period! We like to keep you on your toes :D

If you see a decrease in the quality of memes and/or pictures provided, however, it probably can be attributed to losing Si's insanity (and knitting forum). 

Now! Onwards!

Y1W23 WINNER!

Steph Ellis

with Safe and Sound

Si: Wow, this was a very intense story. Great structure—I really liked how the countdown was interleaved with snippets of the story. The short lines keep it fast paced and the bits of backstory from the main character are well placed with the increasing creepiness of Dad's lines. The ending is CHILLING. Great job cutting it off just so the reader doesn't exactly know what happens—but man, can we imagine. I want to know more about what went wrong with Dad, why he became so dangerous. My favorite lines in this story are “My eyes told him yes even as I denied it.”, and “One. And you should be with your family.”. Terrifying and very evocative. The writing is really what makes this story—tightly in control and keeping the reader right on the edge, the whole time. Excellent job!

Mars: Michael certainly nailed the tone of this piece when he described it as 'haunting'. The tension within the story is compelling, particularly with the countdown, though one wonders what the father is expecting at the end of his countdown--the main character to spit out whatever s/he's not telling (the location of Suzy?), or is the father just indicating that the end is nigh (or both)? Either way, it pushes the story forward. The pacing is excellent, as well as the little drops of background information. 

I was a little lost as to what explicitly happened to Davey and Mum--"staring eyes" seems like they could be dead, but it could also mean a number of other things. Certainly terrifying either way--reflected aptly by the hiding of Suzy--and doesn't detract very much from the piece. 

"Once, I would have agreed with him, in those happier times before the world went mad and him with it," is my favorite line of the piece. Can't quite tell you the rationale, other than it sounds very . . . quotable--at least, the ending: "the world went mad and him with it." 

I feel sorry for the kid here--not just because s/he's probably going to face death/something worse, but also because: if noone will ever find Suzy, doesn't that mean Suzy will suffer a similar fate to the rest of her family? Haunting, haunting indeed. 

Safe and Sound
“I can’t answer that – you’ll beat me up.”  
“Ten.” 
The world turned upside down and I found myself flat on my back. I swore softly. I had promised my brother I’d keep our sister safe. 
“Nine,” growled my dad. 
I was in a no-win situation; damned if I did, damned if I didn’t. 
“Eight.” 
The sound of sirens came closer. Don’t let yourself get caught, Davey had said before vanishing. I’ll be back before you know it and then everything will be alright. And I had believed him. 
“Seven.” 
It had been weeks since we’d seen him. Mum used to count the days but now she too had gone. A fist grabbed my throat. 
“Six. You followed me, didn’t you?” 
My eyes told him yes even as I denied it. 
“Five.” 
I tried not to think of what I had seen. The sirens faded out again.  
“Four. It’s my job to keep the family safe.” 
Once I would have agreed with him in those happier times before the world went mad and him with it. 
Three. We need to stay together.” 
But not that way I thought, remembering how I had shadowed him to an underground bunker, finally solving the mystery of where Davey and Mum had gone. Anarchy had bred insanity - as if poverty and starvation wasn’t enough. 
Two. I am only making sure that my family does not suffer.”  
Those staring eyes haunted me day and night. I had moved Suzy then, taken her to a basement, locked her in safe and sound, told her I would be back soon. 
One. And you should be with your family.” 
He had caught me but he would not get Suzy. She was safe in the basement. Nobody would ever find her.

And I cried as my world turned black.

Dangit, Steph. Stop writing so well.
 See you all back this Saturday! Don't let our one-judge act discourage you from joining; we'll still be as mad as ever!

Friday, January 8, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 23

Si, all the time.

WHO'S READY FOR ANOTHER CRACKED FLASH FICTION CHALLENGE?

YOU!

What do these memes have to do with the rest of the post? NOTHING. EXCEPT SI REALLY LIKES BOOKS.
Well you better be ready cause this competition is coming right at you ... right now.

PICK UP THOSE PENS.

OR KEYBOARDS

OR CARRIER PIGEONS

And let's get writing!

IRREFUTABLE LOGIC.
(the faster you write your story the faster you can go acquire and read Three Parts Dead, which Si is currently deeply in love with)


Judges This Week: Mars and Si

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday, likely around 10 pm - 11:59 pm!

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition.

Prompt

"I can't answer that--you'll beat me up." 


Random Pictures / Inspiration




Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Year 1, Week 22: Results!

Oh my goodness. There were so many good entries this week that it was hard to chose! Seriously, the struggle has been real.


Also, if you have not seen the new Star Wars movie, DO IT! Or don't. Whatever. 
*Rin slips away into the dark sid- shadows*

Anywho... back to the reviews!

Honorable Mention

This week, we have a tie between two great contestants, Patrick Stahl with Safe Flight and Firdaus with The Test!

Si: (Safe FlightI really liked the whole situation in this story. The conflict—is the auto pilot plane really safe? Can Stronson really trust Yi's assurances of safety? I like how we're oriented in the story world pretty much immediately. The dialogue provides basically all the details to the reader, but does so as part of the discussion which we're also involved in—very effective! I like how we get a taste of their personalities through this brief encounter—bluff, hearty Admiral Yi, cautious and skeptical Major Stronson. The humor amused me, especially the last line--”Major Stronson saluted Admiral Yi and coaxed his body into the Sparrowhawk’s coffin—or cockpit, as the Air Force insisted it be called—and prayed that it wouldn’t become his casket today or any day soon.” I also like the hint of a very different world that we get from the brief farewell: “On behalf of the thirty-eight remaining states of America...” I would have liked to see more details from the story world in the piece—who are they fighting? Why? Why 38 remaining states? Overall, a very cleanly written piece with good character interactions. Well done!

(The Test) The characters in this story are very likable and fun, I enjoyed the childish situation (though really, it's quite a serious one—runaway kid and mysterious girl sitting on working railroad tracks, then recklessly jumping into a big river … ). The writing and interactions between the characters make it seem exhilarating, as the main character surely sees it. This interaction is particularly well done: “"Good," she grinned, "because I can't."”I liked the way the main character's history is slipped into the story. The moments after the main character hits the water are also very well written: “I couldn't be bothered to catch any, I was struggling to stay afloat. She was bobbing at a little distance. I needed to get to her.” High tension and very immediate action. One thing I wanted while reading this story was more details about the characters and their setting—I'm not entirely sure how old both characters are, and there aren't any clues to this “Test” that the main character undergoes (test for what? Why is the main character being tested? Who is she and why is she testing MC?). Intriguing story and great writing!


Rin: (Safe Flight) This was a fun story! It was reminiscent of something you’d seen in an episode of an older military comedy show, like M.A.S.H. or the like, which I enjoyed. I immediately liked Major Stronson’s personality and booed Admiral Yi’s lack of concern for the safety of his pilots. They played well off each other, the protag and antag clearly obvious. The story had a great balance of tension and comedy relief. The idea of a vest warbling angrily made me crack up. That last sentence was a perfectly amusing wrap up and my favorite of them. Well done!

(The Test) I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Behind the first, lighthearted impression of the boy trying to impress the girl, is the harsher reality of their homeless/runaway situation, giving it a warm, but gritty tone. The pace of the story kept moving right along and I liked the dialogue in this; short, with good flow, and realistic, lending their speakers distinctiveness. Like Si, I also wish that there were more explained behind the significance of the test, but overall thought this a good piece flash fiction. Nice job!

First Runner Up

David Novak with Safe

Si: First off, interesting choice of POV here! Though we're seeing things from first person, the frequent use of “you” is an unusual choice but it works here. It draws in the reader to immediately be involved with the story, especially with the accusatory tone. I liked the way “safe” is played with in the story here—we hear both character's views, but we also see them, in their manner of speech. I like how we aren't given the whole picture, only pieces to figure out what their relationship is, and what happened. I loved the ending—great imagery with “Every word you ever said, you swung as hard as you could. You made sure to shatter something. To leave an impact. Nothing was ever safe with you.” and the main character's somewhat frightening conclusion “Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing after all.” Something I would change would be around this line: “And I left behind all those unspoken words in favor of the safe ones.”, I don't think it is necessary to explicitly say “safe words” or “safe ones,” I think it would be better to leave it as implied as the reader has clues already from the previous exchange that the MC is very safe in their choice of words. This is a story whose word choice makes it very in-your-face, very dynamic and real. The balance of descriptive imagery and tension is well done. Great story!


Rin: I’m personally not one for first person povs or audience characters, but this was an exception. I really like all the metaphorical imagery in this one and the tension that was built off the parent-child relationship between them. Both feel fully developed and distinguishable from one another, realistic. My favorite line was ‘Like you could swing a sledgehammer and be fine with the foundation and the walls and the roof just crumbling all around you.’ I could just see it in my mind. How the thoughts of the parent character change toward the child character at the end made for a nice bit of development and a well-done wrap up. Good job!

Y1W22 WINNER!

Molly Morrow

with Safe Harbor

Si: I think what I liked most about this story was the narrator's voice and personality shining through, even though they talk more about Delia than themselves. Delia is definitely a living character in this story: crazy and passionate and a bit creepy. Both the narrator and Delia feel very alive. I liked the first person POV, and the little snippets of life and description we get—leaving the imagination to fill in the details, to infer the personality guiding Delia's actions. My favorite line was the last one: “She cups a hand to my ear and says she’ll never have kids, she’ll never get old – she’ll just roam the country like Odysseus after the storm. ” Beautiful! One thing I would look out for is some tense changes which were a little confusing—I'm not sure if they were intentional or not. “You’re sick I said. I would think Child Protective Services is on speed dial at this point. But it’s not my place.” (I said, I would think, it's/it is). I love the progression of the piece and the ordering of the little snippets of life. Starting out with something worrisome about her personality, then shifting to her wild aliveness, then back to a snippet of her past that contrasts with the first one—she'll never have kids. The writing is very expressive. Beautiful piece!


Rin: Wow, just wow. This story set me on edge right from the start! The tension is palpable and the pov character’s nostalgia for the better days gives it an melancholy tone. The two siblings feel well developed and are clearly distinct, the calm, stable pov character and Delia, a free soul made twisted by her mental instability. There’s lots of good descriptive bits and it makes it easy to remember along with the pov character. My favorite line of it was definitely ‘Before there was any shadow over our lives, before we had any feeling of danger, any run-in with a stranger to make the hair stand up on the back of our necks.’ I love how it gives the sense that the story has a lot of back story under its surface. Gives it a weightier feel and makes me wish that I knew what it was. Excellent story!


Safe Harbor
I’m not sure we have the same definition of ‘safe.’ Delia once held her baby boy over the railing of the Bremerton ferry and giggled hysterically before I scooped him back into my arms and held him inside of my coat for the rest of the ride. She said it made her dizzy, knowing she could drop the kid. Just knowing she had that power made her giddy. You’re sick I said. I would think Child Protective Services is on speed dial at this point. But it’s not my place. Nights when it rains and I’m alone in bed I close my eyes and see Delia running through the field behind our house in a spring-time monsoon, running like when we were kids. Before there was any shadow over our lives, before we had any feeling of danger, any run-in with a stranger to make the hair stand up on the back of our necks. I see her running with her hands outstretched like airplane wings, cutting through the braided grass. The rain comes down hard and the garden shed looks like it will fall over into the bay. We lock ourselves in and feel the thunder through the slatted boards and see the lightning like a flash from an old camera. Her face is bizarre and warped in the light, giggling in that same hysterical way, that same giddy dizzy way. She cups a hand to my ear and says she’ll never have kids, she’ll never get old – she’ll just roam the country like Odysseus after the storm.


Excellent writing all. We hope you join us again next week!

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 22

Well, I'd say 'High Score!' for one #CrackedFlashFail right after another, but it's not really something to celebrate about! Not exactly a good way to start off the new year, LOL!


Okay, self-pity done. Deadline extended once again! Hope to see you

RULES RULES RULES

Judges This Week: Rin and Si

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: 2 PM PDT TOMORROW, SUNDAY! (Because we can't seem to get things out on time)

Results announced: Next Wednesday, likely around 10 pm - 11:59 pm!

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. Use the prompt as the opening line to your piece (observe rule #2 up there).

Prompt

"I'm not sure we have the same definition of 'safe'."