Year 1, Week 21: Results!

Attention: Due to the holiday madness, we will not be hosting CFFC this Saturday! We will see you (hopefully) back in 2016, on the 2nd! (Note: Make a New Year's resolution to write more flash fiction!) 

I couldn't resist. It's a classic. I only wish I could find it in gif format.

But before you go! Be sure to read the results for Week 21! :D

Honorable Mention

Steph Ellis' Reunited

Mars: I like the eerie tone of this piece, only complemented by the theme of karma--he buried his wife, and ended up getting buried by himself. Very poetic. His descent into madness over his sin is clear, only emphasized by the haunting image of his wife returning to whisper in his ear or appear to drive him to insanity. 

Although the characterization is well done in this piece, I didn't have a large attachment to this character. When his death scene was upon him, I didn't find myself cheering, "Yes! He totally got what he deserved!" (even though I suspect he did), nor did I really feel sorry for him. 

I really like the line, "And now he could clearly see her face, framed by the moon's spotlight." It brings a vibrant image to mind amidst the literal and figurative darkness in the narrative and tone of the piece. Overall, excellent little flash. 

Rin: Oooh, this was a nice, creepy twist on the prompt! Lots of good imagery in this, making it easy to envision it, but I wish there had been a bit more explanation as to why he’d killed her to begin with. The fast pace of it fit well with the chilling tone of the piece and the one-sided dialogue built up the tension nicely. I think my favorite line in this one was ‘By rights, there should be snow, a dusting of purification to absolve his sins, keep his crime from prying eyes but instead she was coming back, reappearing.’ Shiver-inducing. Very nice!

First Runner Up

Bill Engleson's The Hills of Forever

Mars: The strong point of this piece is the overall tone and the voice of the characters; in the way of conflict, the story wasn't very compelling, since it's just a little screenshot of a thing, but from a pure tonality standpoint, the lack of conflict only adds to the desolate tone of the piece. 

I thought a better justification might have been in order for headed towards the hills--I'd say the evil you know (returning to the highway even if it's 60-75 miles away; about 15 hours away at 5 mph) is better than the one you don't (the hills). I was curious why they didn't know how far away their destination was? Unless this is written in the days before google maps or gps (or road signs?) one would assume distances were something travellers would have a vague idea of. 

I appreciate the last three lines, and the very last line certainly leaves you wondering what kind of life he led; they certainly amplify his voice, as well. Intriguing and thoughtful. 

Rin: The prompt was used well in this piece, giving us a good feel for the desert setting right from the very first sentence. The characters were distinct and I like how there wasn’t a whole lot of dialogue, but what there was felt natural and had good flow. There were a lot of good lines in this piece, but my favorite line in this piece was ‘In the chimera of the heat, the hills had looked closer.’ I love that mental imagery. I only wish that I’d been given a little more reason to care about these characters, aside from them just being stranded in the desert. A worthy goal to root for them for or a reason to be disappointed when they failed to make it. That last line was a good wrap up, letting us have a taste of his despair and failure. Of when his hope was finally lost. Great job!

Y1W21 WINNER!

Carin Marais

with Dust Red As Blood

Mars: Arek's emotions come off as raw and roiling, which is excellent; the grief, anger, and barganing was worked in there very nicely. He felt like a three-dimensional character, which can be hard to do in 300 words!

The beginning and ending of the story seem formatted oddly to me. The first paragraph is bulky; it addresses at least two different topics, and could be broken up in two or three paragraphs for clarity and/or emphasis. Observe: 

Arek dug his fingers into the dry ground. Red dust caked beneath the priest’s fingernails and clung to the blood staining his wrinkled hands. Tears turned the world to a blurred, red puddle even as he pushed more of the dirt from the quickly dug grave. He wiped his face, leaving it painted in streaks of red dust, tears, and blood.  

Some way from him, standing close to the Veil usually hidden from mortals, was one of the Guardians of the Veil. Her light blue cloak stood in stark contrast to the deep brown of the leather armour she wore. Her face was veiled and her right hand hand was clenched around a spear. She stared out over the flat plain dotted with small settlements. 

Behind her the shrine of the Khalne Alima stood broken and burnt.

This way feels is easier to read, clarifies different topics, and gives emphasis to an important line.  

Similarly, at the end, I felt the last line was very abrupt formatted as it is; it feels as though it should either be followed up by a second concluding line, or be on its own line; there's no pause between thoughts, and so it feels unfinished.

Another thing I love about this piece: the enigma of the guardian. There's kind of an intense level of worldbuilding going on in this little flash fiction. We see that there's a clergy for this religion, there are shrines for a holy figure(s), we get a glimpse into the afterlife of this world, we can infer that the guardian doesn't normally talk to people, and we got a description of the guardian. There's probably other stuff I could find to list here, but wow. It definitely got my attention. 

Rin: The description in this piece immediately transported me into the story. I became Arek. My favorite line was ‘Red dust caked beneath the priest’s fingernails and clung to the blood staining his wrinkled hands.’ I could feel the dirt under his nails, the way it caked on his wrinkled skin, telling me he was an older man. All the little details showed instead of told, bringing the setting to life without bogging it down and letting it keep a good pace. Arek and the Guardian came across as a fully developed characters and I liked the description of the Guardian’s speech, giving an ethereal feel to her. The twist at the end was good, I was not expecting him to be dead. And since he couldn’t see the boy in his afterlife form, it left me wondering if the boy was dead at all or just unconscious. A good ending, to a great piece! Congrats!

Dust Red As Blood

Arek dug his fingers into the dry ground. Red dust caked beneath the priest’s fingernails and clung to the blood staining his wrinkled hands. Tears turned the world to a blurred, red puddle even as he pushed more of the dirt from the quickly dug grave. He wiped his face, leaving it painted in streaks of red dust, tears, and blood. Some way from him, standing close to the Veil usually hidden from mortals, was one of the Guardians of the Veil. Her light blue cloak stood in stark contrast to the deep brown of the leather armour she wore. Her face was veiled and her right hand hand was clenched around a spear. She stared out over the flat plain dotted with small settlements. Behind her the shrine of the Khalne Alima stood broken and burnt.  

“Why did you not take me?” he shouted at her. She turned a solemn face towards him. A frown pulled at her brow. 

“I was the one who should have guarded the shrine today. You should have taken me!” Arek shouted. 

She did not move and kept on staring at him. Behind her the Veil glimmered as if it, too, was seen through tears.  

Arek got up and staggered towards her.  

“Please, let us trade places,” he pleaded. “Galeun is too young. He was never supposed to have been here.” 

“You came as soon as you saw the fire at the shrine. You did not think of your own wellbeing,” she said. The Guardian’s words were clipped as if she was unused to talking. 

“You are asking something of me which I cannot give.” The Guardian pointed over his shoulder and the man turned around. On the ground, next to the boy, was his own body, disfigured from the wounds dealt to him. 

GREAT JOB

See you in 2016!

Year 1, Week 12: Results!

We want you to know that though there were only three entries, we thought all of them earned their spots on the result's roll this week. They were all excellent stories, and all well-written. 

Also, tired Mars is way too tired to come up with something witty to say here this week. Who knew that working for your money would make you tired? (*Recently got a job*) Get thee to congratulating the winners.

Honorable Mention

Firdaus' Letting Go

Mars: I actually rather like how you mutilated the prompt for this. It was a great way to introduce two contrasting characters; the daughter is given a light-hearted, angelic sort of feel, while the father is given a dark and brooding one. 

The piece has a bit of a monotonous feel to it--I'd suggest watching out for sentences that start the same way: "She danced well", "The young man bent", "The room exploded", "He couldn't take it". The phone call feels more natural than the story (good dialogue!) because the sentence structures are more varied. 

At first I kind of thought he was a dance tutor of some sort for the daughter, which seemed really creepy, but the jig was up for me at the beginning of the phone call--who would call their old tutor to tell them they were doing well? It was cleverly done.

Rin: The main character was very well done, feeling fully developed. I liked how the little hints throughout had me thinking that the pov character was an old dance instructor/lover of the girl's, then twists around to show him as being the girl's father. My favorite line was 'But as he watched her look lovingly into the young man's eyes he felt the cold fingers of jealousy curl around his heart.' as it was good description. I enjoyed the dialogue between the characters, it felt natural and realistic. Nicely done.

First Runner-Up

Steph Ellis' Babylon

Mars: Oh man, haven't people learned by now not to revive dead people? Simon and Jenni should watch The Mummy. Or even think about it: what if you accidentally resurrected Hitler? This seems like a bad plan, guys. Pretty much my favorite part about this piece was the irony. "Lol it would be funny if it was Babylon"; "Pah, no way"; "BABYLON used RESURRECTION!"; "What have we done?!" (Excuse my terrible sense of humor >.>)

The thing that strikes my curiosity the most is the line, "Such stories had no relevance anymore." It's a little disappointing that there was nothing else about what had happened by 2050 to make religion irrelevant (but, of course, there's only so much one can do with 300 words, so it's forgivable.)

It feels like there should be a DUN DUN DUNNN at the end of the piece; the sudden tone shift from humorous and boredom to OH NOES was great. 

Rin: I loved the building tension in this! The futuristic setting added to the creepy tone and the little bits of description were done well, making it easy to picture. I liked how the characters' distinctness was clearly shown in just a few words. My favorite line was, "Then they lifted the lid and those coal black eyes looked right at them, right into them. She smiled a terrible smile.” It gives just a perfect sense of impending doom! I thoroughly enjoyed the seven guests as a reference to the beast in Revelations; it was a great touch. Great story! 

And now, put your hands together foooorrr--

Y1W12 Winner!

Carin Marais

with Life on Canvas

Mars: The first thing that attracted me to this piece is how elegant it sounds. I also really like the color descriptions (well, I like colors, so usually they're more descriptive to me than other words; they set the mood of the scene); they brought the piece to life.

The sentence "He never did bother learning names," took me a bit to figure out. The pronoun can refer to either Jarl or the patron in this instance, because we have "She had always called him Jarl" in the next sentence. 

It's really great how Jarl's mood fits the somber dignity of the piece, even though we know by the end that this is killing him. There's no cliche "Oh woe is me angstangst," but just matter-of-fact thought processes and observations. That really drew the story's tone together. (Also, totally, that last line brought a great song to mind: Leader of the Pack.)

Rin: This was beautifully done. The slower pace was well matched to the tone of grief and the setting was easy to envision without being bogged down with too much description. It drew me in and the characters were done well. My favorite aspect of it was how fantastic an example of “show not tell” it was, the understated detail was masterfully done and made me feel Jarl's emotions, without saying even a bit too much or going too angsty. The only thing that I wish had been more clear was the meaning of “The man reached out to touch the threads, but the picture kept on changing as before.” In what way was the picture changing before? Were the finished pictures alive? Would have liked to find out, but regardless, this was an excellent piece. Loved it!

Life on Canvas

Her face was painted gold, her eyes hard and dark as coal. Lifeless upon the canvas, she stared out unseeing at the workshop. Her artist started adding more flourishes with his finest needle and silk. Jarl traced filigree with threads the colour of rubies, emeralds, and the finest silver. Sapphire strands lay ready to colour her eyes, but the artist did not pick that up yet. The eyes came last. He always brought the canvas to life that way.

The workshop fell quiet as their patron entered. The artist looked around and continued on while the patron inspected a finished tapestry against the far wall. It showed his son on the battlefield raising the banner bearing the family crest.

"It looks just like him!" the patron exclaimed. "It even smiles just like he did!" The man reached out to touch the threads, but the picture kept on changing as before.

"It will not respond like the living would," one of the artists said.

Jarl sat back and regarded his work. Though unmoving, she did look alive but for the eyes. Those eyes that once regarded him with love.

"You capture my daughter well, artist," the patron said. He never did bother learning names. She had always called him Jarl. Never sir Tellah or artist Tellah. If he closed his eyes he could still feel her lips on his.

Jarl nodded, not trusting his own voice.

"I am sure her new husband will like it as well. Will you be finished in time for their wedding tomorrow?"

Jarl nodded and picked up the blue thread while his eyes burned with tears. He had to remember her eyes when she was happy and in love. Not the way they looked on the day she had to say goodbye.

And that's the end. See you all next week! :D

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 12

I totally tried to write a Trippin' Thursday story that was less than 1k long and found out there's a character limit on the comments! Like 4056 characters or something. Boo, Blogspot, boo! Guess you'll have to chain-post if you want to have more than like 800 words on your Trippin' Thursdays.

Fortunately, you only have to write 300 words (or less)!

Take a looksy through the full rules if you haven't already!

Judges This Week: Rin and Mars

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday!

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition.

YOUR PROMPT:

Her face was painted gold, her eyes as hard and dark as coal.

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 10

Ah, the auspicious number 10. Two and a half months! Our competition is so old! Okay, maybe not, but we're getting there. Just wait until we're the ripe, old age of 6 months. Just you wait, Henry Higgins, just you wait.

And onto the competition!

Take a looksy through the full rules if you haven't already!

Judges This Week: Rin and Mars

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday!

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition.

YOUR PROMPT:

"Smiling at me every few days is not the same as telling me you're not going to kill me."

Year 1, Week 7: Results!

We were pleased to have three very varied entries to choose from this time around. The mishap on Saturday had us wondering if we'd get any at all!

Honorable Mention

Ophelia Leong's Neighborly Duties

Rin: This was a fun one. I liked how Matthew wasn't really all that interested, a nice twist on the typical vampire/human scenario. My favorite line was "Superglue dripped onto the floor like sap and Elena hid the paintbrush in the trashcan," because that bit of description puts a vivid picture in my head of how it would squish under the feet when he stood up. Nice job.

Mars: This felt both done and not done--I like to imagine Matthew suddenly jumping out of his shoes and driving a hidden stake through Elena's heart (I also wonder where she got that superglue that doesn't dry for five minutes? I'd like some)--but it did make a nice little story arc for a flash. Matthew's obvious disdain/disinterest was a nice touch, as opposed to the the normal love-at-first-sight scenarios in typical YA Urban Fantasy fiction. Something else I'm just noticing: the word style is done well here; it feels flowing and quite . . . surreptitious. Stealthy, flowing, cat-like. Good job!

(Bonus points to you for making me learn a new word: surreptitious. Also, Elena's "no man should be able to resist me!" thought made me think of a Mockingjay parody (observe lyrics "Gale and I have chemistry . . ."))

First Runner Up

M T Decker's Hypothetically Speaking

Rin: I love crime-scene type shows, so this story was a treat for me! The dialogue was good and flowed well, giving me a good idea of the character's personalities even without the help of much description. I like how instead of having it where the answer is clear, the characters went through a bunch of different scenarios in which someone might have a use for it. Especially enjoyed the mention of a real-life forensic science thing, fingerprint fumigation. Well done!

Mars: (I forgot to finish this I'm so sorry) Dialogue-heavy stories are something I'm generally very fond of; it pleased me to see a flash that carries a plot well through mostly dialogue. I am left wondering what conclusion Gina was drawn to, but that feels like part of the charm for the speculating, progressive tone of the piece. I like the look into Gina and her husband's relationship--we see one side of them in the brainstorming session, but there's a hint towards something else; nicely done character dynamics without being flashy. Nice work.

And, without further ado, the moment you've all been waiting for--

Y1W7 Winner!

Josh Bertetta

with A Sticky Situation

Rin: I loved this one! The mysterious feel was good and I liked how I was kept guessing how the super glue would tie in until the very end. My favorite line was "He didn’t care about her deformed ear, her abnormal arm, or club foot. He loved her for who she was," because the sweetness of it really did a good job of making me question my own intuition and whether I was reading more suspicious things into what came above it, making that last line really pop!

Mars: It took me a few re-reads to understand exactly was going on, and then I had a little "Awww" moment. The suspense was artfully played up to drive home the last line--what exactly his greatest work was. The reader can tell how obviously he dotes upon her--even before his declaration of love--which demonstrates excellent characterization. This is a really cute piece!

A Sticky Situation 

“Why do you have a pound of superglue—you know what? Never mind. I don’t want to know…I’ll just trump it up to another one of your idiosyncrasies.” She smiled, and tucked her hair behind her good ear, leaving her thick auburn locks covering the other. 

He asked her if she’d like a drink; she accepted. 

They sat across from one another, the tub of superglue on the mahogany coffee table, and sipped the brandy in silence. He stared into her large round eyes, then let his own admire the perfect symmetry of her face. A paragon of beauty. 

“Can I use your restroom?” 

“Of course. Shall I help you?” 

“Thank you, but I think I can manage.” She propped herself up on her cane, and hobbled toward the hallway. “Third door on the left, right?” 

“That’s right.” 

He refilled her drink, and waited, musing over the work to be done—his greatest work, his magnum opus. 

Upon her return, she thanked him for refilling her drink, sat, and together they shared hopes and dreams and thoughts on life. She liked him, and she knew he knew it; he loved her and he knew she knew it.

He didn’t care about her deformed ear, her abnormal arm, or club foot. He loved her for who she was. But she neither loved herself nor believed her worthy of love. 

She took a big sip of brandy, set the tumbler down, and yawned big and heavy. Her perfect cheeks flushed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I—I—”

Her eyelids grew heavy; she eked out an embarrassed smile, and passed out. 

He cradled her in his arms, brushed back her hair, and kissed her forehead; he bent at the knee and picked up the bottle of “Dr. Frankenstein’s Medical Grade Biotic Super Glue.”

 Great job, everybody! See you on Saturday (this time on time, heh)~

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 7

We've had a #crackedflashfail this Saturday. We apologize for everyone who was up at midnight, waiting for the prompt to come through (if there were any, that is. Heh). 

Take a looksy through the full rules if you haven't already!

Judges This Week: Rin and Mars (Sie is packing)

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Due to our scatterbrains, we forgot to put up the prompt promptly. (*murdered for bad pun*) Therefore, the deadline has been extended to Sunday, 3 PM, PDT. Note that this is abnormal and will be for this week only. Still 24 hours to write, however!

Results announced: Next Wednesday!

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition.

YOUR PROMPT:

"Why do you have a pound of superglue--you know what? Never mind. I don't want to know."

Year 1, Week 6: Results!

We were disappointed by the amount of entries that we received last week--there's not much of a competition if there's only two entries to choose from! Even so, two stories are better than one--we'd like to give a big round of applause to our two contestants--Steph Ellis and Ophelia Leong! 

First Runner Up

Steph Ellis' Sometimes Holidays Really Get Your Goat

Rin: Dai and Will are fun characters in their incompetent goonishness and I wonder what made them get into the devil-worshiping in the first place. There was a lot of comical dialogue and back story throughout, especially the idea that the devil had had his holiday fire pit ruined last time. It was greatly amusing to imagine that. My favorite line was 'The small goat continued to chew on Dai's shoe, a picture of innocence.' because I can just see that and I love how it comes out at the end that they'd had the right one all along and he'd tricked them. Sounds just like what a mischievous spawn of the devil might do!

Mars: This was an amusing take on the prompt--a clever play on words. The character dynamics stood out, too--Dai and Will make for a good, humorous character pairing. The joke at the end--actually having the right kid--made the piece complete. It also prompts an intriguing question--what made Dai and Will pick up "this devil worship lark" in the first place?

Y1W6 Winner!

Ophelia Leong

with Changeling Duty

Rin: I love faerie lore and all things mythology, so this was a fun one for me. I especially liked Deenan's character and wonder whose bright idea it was to let him lead a newbie onto the 'child-swapping' field with only one job under his belt. No wonder they bungled it, King Oberon ought to chew out their commanding officer instead! XD The dialogue was entertaining and Deenan's attempt to boss around a toddler with formal talk was amusing. My favorite sentence was definitely 'A dewy blue eye peered down at Sephira and a drop of drool from a toothy grin fell on her face.' It was good description and evokes a strong 'Ew!' response from me. I just squirm at the idea of being drooled on. Gross! Nice job.

Mars: This was another amusing take on the prompt--I don't read a lot of faerie lore (and usually the faeries I read about are closer to the traditional kind), so it's fun to see into a changeling job. I, like Steph, was expecting the toddler to take a chomp out of one of the faerie's heads (which would have quickly turned an amusing story into something much more dark, I suppose . . .). It's also a little amusing that they could be caught so easily by a tiny kid. Well done!

Changeling Duty

“Oh no. We brought the wrong kid.” 

“You’re kidding me.” 

“No, really. Look. He’s too big to be a baby.” 

Sephira glanced at the bundle of blankets on the grass, anxiously twisting her silver-green hair between her fingers. She had to admit it had been difficult to fly whilst carrying it, but… 

“Deenan, you told me you had everything checked out. You said that was the right house! We already put the changeling in!” 

Deenan scratched his long, pointed ears, his fine features red with embarrassment. “I’m sorry. This is only my second time doing this, okay? Changeling duty isn’t easy.” 

“You’re telling me! I waited forever for this and now my partner just bungled my first job!” 

Just then, they heard a yawn and a soft rustling behind them. Sephira’s heart turned cold. Deenan’s purple eyes widened and he trembled. Changeling duty was not known to be dangerous to faeries, since they usually handle babies, but an older kid was another story altogether. 

“Ooh, new toys!” 

Sephira tried to fly away, but strong little fingers grabbed her wings. She struggled, calling for Deenan, but he was caught in the kids’ other hand! 

A dewy blue eye peered down at Sephira and a drop of drool from a toothy grin fell on her face. 

“Ew!” she exclaimed as she tried to wiggle free. “Deenan, talk to it! Do something! This is all your fault!” 

“Human child! Let go of us at once! We do not belong in your realm!” Deenan shouted wobbly as the child shook him about. 

Sephira rolled her eyes. “I don’t think it understands Faerie court talk, genius.”

The kid began walking back towards the house, still holding the faeries. Sephira sighed; what was worse, a scolding from Oberon or playtime with a toddler?

Hope to see more of y'all next week!

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 6

It's always such a pleasure. Remember how you tried to kill me--
twice?

Take a looksy through the full rules if you haven't already!

Judges This Week: Rin and Mars

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday!

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition.

YOUR PROMPT:
"Oh, no. We brought the wrong kid."
"You're kidding me."

Actually, it's at midnight, but details.

Year 1, Week 2: Results!

It's that time! I'd like to thank all of you who participated in our second competition and all of our readers! Due to unforeseen circumstances, I, Rin, will be the only judge for today. On to the announcements!

Edit: Mars is alive, and she agreed with Rin's assessment beforehand (forgot to say so, though). She'll add her comments below. There was a slight miscommunication error (well, more like lack of communication) on Mars' part which probably caused Rin and Si to think she had fallen off the face of the planet. She will endeavor to not fall off the face of the planet. She apologizes profusely for the delay.

Honorable Mention

Geoff Holme's The Happiest Day of Your Life...

Rin: This one was simply fun. I liked the style of telling the events backwards in order that they happened in and ending at the bride's morning wake up was hilarious after seeing all the tragedy of the day. I could easily see these things happening and I laughed the whole way through; especially during the parts of the flaming veil, the poor guest falling into the grave, and the mourning mother in law.

Mars: Ah, another one from Geoff that makes me laugh out loud (this one was funnier than the last). It makes me a little horrified about my own wedding day (here are all teh reasons to elope, seriously). I noticed the time stamps right away and read from the bottom up the first time, then read it top to bottom. Every line was funny by itself. Really, really amusing. I also appreciated the twist on the prompt--instead of spectacularly awesome, they were spectacularly horrid. Well done.

First Runner Up

MTDecker's Independence

Rin: I liked how the characters feel very whole and fully formed in such a short amount of words. I also enjoyed seeing how the disabled main character was shown from a different perspective than how the disability is usually portrayed. I've tried to keep up with a deaf lady talking to me with ASL before and this was spot on about how difficult it was to keep up with her and how it can make you feel like the disabled one, even with knowing some of the signs.

Mars: I like having a peek into the deaf community, since it's not often something most writers approach (probably because the majority of writers are hearing people). I'd be the first to admit that I don't know much about the deaf culture, only that it's extremely different from hearing culture--that's kind of displayed with the SEE instead of ASL Max uses with the main character. Well done. 

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for--

Y1W1 Winner:

Steph Ellis!

with One Last Night

Rin: I loved the bleak tone and dystopian setting of this piece, it was unexpected and really drew me in to it. The story felt complete with nothing left off and nothing crowded in, the slower pace really complimenting the story and deepening to the feeling of it. Tragic, yet beautifully done, in both the vivid description and in the feeling of grim acceptance. I felt the ending was especially well done, giving me a mental picture of lights fading to dark at the close of a tragedy play.

Mars: Oh, the feels. The two lines at the end--'Whispered, "Goodnight." // Whispered, "Goodbye."' were like a punch to the proverbial gut. I could imagine being little Bobby, with his excitement and amazement over this wonderful, brilliant night, without knowing it was his last. I could also imagine being the father--resigned to be the last one alive, and having to pretend nothing was wrong for Bobby. The characters really came to life, is what I'm saying here. This was a very well-done dystopian piece.

The winning story!

The fireworks were spectacular. Rainbow colours scattered like confetti across velvet night. Explosions of gold glittered across the sky, casting even the brightest star into shadow.

“Why here, Dad?” asked Bobby, shivering despite the blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

“Because I wanted you to see something beautiful tonight.”

“Why couldn’t Mum come with us?”

Ray thought about Chloe lying cold and alone in the shelter. She had wanted Bobby to have this. One night of wonder and wishes. One last night.

Another explosion ripped through the darkness, timed to synchronise with the display so that Bobby wouldn’t notice.

Ray glanced at his watch. The detonators had gone off like clockwork. By now the compound would be ash. His wife, parents, friends, all ash. But the gas he had fed through the ventilation system had sent them to a peaceful end long before that destructive blast.

Contagion had wiped out other settlements and despite their own precautions, the plague had infiltrated the compound. When all hope was gone, the adults had voted for a quick end rather than face a long and lingering death.

Ray had volunteered to administer the last rites.

“What do you think so far?” he asked Bobby.

“Awesome, Dad. I just wish this night could last forever.”

“Here.”

“Wow, Coke?”

“Saved for a special occasion. A toast,” he said. “To a night that will last forever.”

They chinked their mugs together. Ray pretending to sip, watching

Bobby, making sure he had drunk every last drop. Then, as the boy’s eyes began to droop, laid him gently down, tucked the blanket even tighter around him.

Whispered, “Goodnight.”

Whispered, “Goodbye.”

Alone, he watched as the last of the fireworks fizzled out and the world returned to stillness. Then he finished his own drink and he too slept.

Congrats to the winners and thanks again for sharing your stories with us! We hope you'll join us again on Saturday!

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 2

We're glad to inform you that if you're reading this, we're alive and well, and week two has just begun. It's also a holiday. Have a 4th of July gif: 

This is the best way to spend the 4th of July online. Seriously.

Did you need that? No, probably not, but Si and Mars are greatly amused by it, so, you're welcome.

Now, onto more serious matters . . . welcome to Week 2 of the Cracked Flash Fiction Competition!

Take a looksy through the full rules if you haven't already!

Judges This Week: Mars and Rin

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight (PDT)!

Results announced: Next Wednesday!

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition.

YOUR PROMPT:

The fireworks were spectacular.

Go! See you on the other side!