Friday, January 27, 2017

Cracked Flash: Year 2, Week 24


Judge This Week: Mars

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). One entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT! 

Results announced: Next Wednesday afternoon.

Remember: Your entry must begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories; they're for inspiration (and amusement).)

Prompt 

"I can't answer that! You'll beat me up!"

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Year 2, Week 23: Results!

We had wonderful entries this week. Choosing the winners took a lot of re-reading of all the stories. Finally, these three were the ones that stuck with me.

Honourable Mention

Alva Holland with The Day of Reckoning

I really enjoyed this tongue-in-the-cheek piece. I liked how you used the prompt, making the protagonist dread her own creation. Well done.

Note:

orang-utans not orangutans.

Also, you could’ve kept it at “Oh, the horror!” instead of the longer sentence.

And check that your story is in the same tense (present, past, future) and point of view (omniscient, limited third person, first person) throughout.


First Runner-Up

Benjamin Langley with The Door, The Wall, The Stairs

Effective use of the prompt. Your protagonist had a good idea of what awaited her – even her past experiences were making it worse in her mind. So often people keep quiet instead of speaking up – great character growth in this piece. Well done.

Note:

Use complete sentences: “The first time…” “It was her third visit…” “Her face was going to be a calamity…” etc. – sentence fragments have their place, but using too many weakens the prose.

Decide what you’re going to call your protagonist: in such a short piece, it’s best to stick to one name, e.g. Dr Winters.

For effect, I would’ve placed the patient’s name in a new paragraph and her injuries in the next.

Start dialogue in a new paragraph.

Because you use the title as the name for the patient’s abuser, it has to be written in capital letters in the story, too. E.g. “…her view of Mary was the Door, the Wall and the Stairs.”

In the last paragraph, when she reflects on it later, you have to use past perfect tense: “that Mary had given Henrietta” – it’s the past and you’re already writing in the past tense.


Winner Y2W23

Firdaus 

with Alternate Reality

I really enjoyed this great piece of speculative fiction. Loved the twist ending. Well done.

Note:

I would’ve divided the long third paragraph in two to fit the look and feel of the rest of the story. (New paragraph: she shut the trapdoor…)

And remember spaces between paragraphs for easy reading (as shown below).


Alternate Reality


She pulled back the curtain, her eyes tightly shut. She felt the warmth of the sun on her face. Bracing herself for the horror that would come, she slowly opened her eyes. 

Nothing could have prepared her for the devastation before her. For as far as her eyes could travel, she only saw scattered bodies, some tangled in twisted metal of cars and lampposts and other debris. Buildings and houses had been flattened. They stood like jagged concrete stumps in the distance. 

Her breath came out in gasps. The stench of the rot nauseating her. She rushed back to the trapdoor in the corner of the room from where she had just crawled out; her safe haven for the past few weeks or months, she couldn't remember. She had been too scared to come out. Her meagre rations had almost depleted. The air underground had begun to get unbearable to breathe. She shut the trapdoor behind her and sat on the steps leading down. For a long time she sat there, she had run out of tears and ideas. Finally she gathered some courage and climbed back out. She had to find other survivors. 

As she stepped out of the house she heard a constant beeping sound. Then voices, a little muffled, but she could make out what they were saying. 

"She's coming back, she's coming back!"

"Check her vitals."

"Everything seems okay."

She heard someone calling her name. A familiar voice very far away. She felt her vision blur. She rubbed her eyes. When she opened them again she saw her husband leaning over her. 

"Welcome back," he smiled with tears in his eyes. 

"What the—" she tried to speak, her throat parched. 

"Shhh..." he cut her off, "it's okay, you've been asleep for a long time."



Thank you all for your participation! Until Saturday…



Saturday, January 21, 2017

Cracked Flash Year 2, Week 23


Welcome back to another round of Cracked Flash Fiction!

We are still looking for another once-a-month judge on the team, or a handful of guest judges. Other than participating in the competition a few times, there are no prerequisites to being a judge here -- if you're interested, email us at crackedflash@gmail.com!

Beware the Rules.



Judge This Week: Ronel

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). One entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT! 

Results announced: Next Wednesday afternoon.

Remember: Your entry must begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories; they're for inspiration (and amusement).)

Prompt:
She pulled back the curtain, bracing herself for the horror that would come.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Year 2, Week 22: Results!

I have nothing witty or particularly inspiring
to say this week, so have a picture of my darling Xena!
Enjoy the results :)
--Mars
First Runner Up

Quentin Christensen's The Refugees

I have to admit that I'm a sucker for worldbuilding and fantastical races, so this piece caught my attention right away. It's K'Tal's characterization that carries the piece, though; we get a pretty good sense for the kind of person he is by the time the story's out. The thing that bothered me the most about this piece was that there wasn't much in the way of a climax--the fourth paragraph was a prime time to zoom in on the struggle (and perhaps make us empathize with K'Tal if, in the moment of truth, he had protected the humans), but it was very condensed and sped past. It would have been cool to hear more about the war(? invasion?) that prompted the last line and the humans' relocation to the S'Leth's planet. It's a nice piece of flash.

Y2W22 Winner! 

Geoff Holme

with The Reluctant Dragon-keeper of Drabenvord

What strikes me as interesting about this piece is the duality of plot here. In some ways, this seems more like the beginning of a longer story with Glathenor as the main character--but at the same time, it's a flash story arc for Llandryff as the main character. That was gracefully pulled off, though I did find the ending a little abrupt (though likely due to running out of words; c'est la vie).

"Carpe diem" jars me out of the story every time I read the piece. I love the world building and the fantasy of the piece, the dreamcatcher's role, the kinds of names they have, but then there's this random Latin phrase in the middle of it all. Some stories reconcile this with the narrator explaining the story's been "translated" to the closest aproximation in our language, and others establish a history of the Roman empire, but there's no explanation here. (It's a little picky of me, I suppose, but I'm picky about my fantasy.)

I do love the intrigue of the piece and the quick fashion we got context/exposition for the piece (or how Glathenor's piece relates to this one). This is a very well-done piece of flash fiction. 

The Reluctant Dragon-keeper of Drabenvord 
The captain of the guard, Zaphim Klyndwr, watched silently as two figures moved through the shadows, one guiding the other by the arm. Glathenor the street shoemaker seemed to be in deep intrigue with Llandryff, the purblind dreamcatcher. The captain followed stealthily, determined to discover the content of their discourse.

“These troublesome visions have plagued me for several nights,” said Glathenor. “Consequently, I have sought your interpretation, Master Llandryff.”

The venerable dreamcatcher let out a murmur of contemplation. “Our primitive progenitors considered the spheres that were revealed to you in your vision to be thaumatoliths, magic stones, appearing mysteriously each Walden-tide under the waning gibbous moons in the sheltered cove east of Jelador, only to vanish a sennight later.

“It was Olbanir the Bowman that you envisaged as he spied the pelagic dragon Aesaphyl rise from her saltwater realm and deposit her precious eggs in the silvered sands. He drew a diamond-tipped arrow from his leathern quiver and fired it, piercing the creature’s heart.” A long, crackly sigh escaped the oneiromancer’s chest.

“King Staurbyx VI has decreed that what he calls 'the scourge of dragons' shall be cleared from the land. Aesaphyl’s brood will perish without intervention.”

On hearing these words, the eavesdropper stepped from his concealment and cried, “I, Zaphim Klyndwr, Captain of the Royal Guard, command you to halt!”

Llandryff seized the shoemaker by the elbow and whispered, “Carpe diem, Glathenor, eldest son of Ezzredir! You must journey to Jelador to recover these fosterlings and nurture them! I will delay the captain.”

“But I…”

“GO! GO!”

Glathenor ducked into the darkness, while Llandryff confronted the captain.

“Stand aside, old man!”

“I cannot do that if you mean harm to Aesaphyl’s offspring.” The dreamcatcher grasped the captain’s tunic, but received Klyndwr’s sword into his side.


Thank you all for your participation! Hope to see you next week!

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Cracked Flash: Year 2, Week 22

We are still looking for another once-a-month judge on the team, or a handful of guest judges. Other than participating in the competition a few times, there are no prerequisites to being a judge here -- if you're interested, email us at crackedflash@gmail.com!

Have some rules c:

Judge This Week: Mars

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). One entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT! 

Results announced: Next Wednesday afternoon. (For real this time)

Remember: Your entry must begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories; they're for inspiration (and amusement).)

Prompt 

The captain of the guard watched silently as two figures moved through the shadows.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Year 2, Week 21: Results!

I (Mars) gotta apologize for delaying this and for only getting one winner out. This week's seen me fairly bed-ridden with some terrible cold I hope none of you had. (Lifehack/protip: don't drink out of your sick mother's cup (even if it's New Years' Eve (and it has sparkling cider in it).)

In other news, Americans, please call your representatives about the ACA (aka Obamacare). Again, we try to leave politics out of this space, but some things are important enough--like saving 45,000 lives a year, which the ACA does

We hope this day sees you well and safe! And here's your winner!

Y2W21 Winner!

Kelly Griffiths 

with Keeper

I have to say, "He's going to kill me for letting you," was cleverly dropped in here. Most of the time, that line is used facetiously! Then BAM, dead Carla at the end. However, I was a little annoyed by the lack of information behind that. I'm confused as to the familial situation here--why would Father kill Carla to resurrect(?) Renae? What's going on here? If the pacing of the piece was tightened, I believe this information could be smuggled in there. 

I also enjoyed the final exchange between Carla and Father. The line "Yes! How many times did I tell you, Carla? Yes!" conveys such distress and depth every time I read it, especially knowing what's coming next. The dialogue was sparkling for this piece. Great job!

Keeper

"You're one of them now," she whispered and stepped back an arm's length-- in case it was contagious. "Father's going to kill you. No. He's going to kill me for letting you, as if it's my fault Renae can't keep her hands to herself."

Renae felt like a plucked bowstring, but she determined to be brave. Awe dawned on her sister's face as Renae's skin took on the cerulean color, the same as the forbidden runes. Even if she wanted to, Renae couldn't let go. Once touched, the stones held you until they were finished with you.

Ever since Father forbade touching the stones, Renae meant to disobey. A dream shadow assured her that Father was being arbitrary, trying as adults do, to suck the joy out of life.

"Your eyes!" gasped her sister, "They're changing."

"I know... I can barely see." Maybe this was a bad idea after all, thought Renae.

Carla screamed. 

"What's wrong?" Renae reached for her sister, but her arms found only empty air. And how heavy were her limbs! 

The sound of running footfalls died away. So did the light. Renae still held the burning rocks. Or they held her. 

Time passed. Carla did not return. By now Renae's back had bowed into the usual arch and her hands had entered the earth, the way a gardener plunges hers into the soil. But gardeners lift them out again.

Only blackness. From far away came a man's heavy breathing and a child's whimper. 

"How could you let this happen, Carla?" cried Father.

"What am I, my sister's keeper?"

"Yes! How many times did I tell you, Carla? Yes!"

Father lifted the scythe high above his head in the swiftest motion. Carla never knew what hit her.

Out of the reddened soil Renae pulled free.
Have a shiny new trophy thing!
 We hope to see you all back here on Saturday :)

Friday, January 6, 2017

Cracked Flash: Year 2, Week 21


Welcome to the start of the new year, everybody! A lot of 2016 legit sucked for a lot of people, but hopefully we can make 2017 amazing. 


On that note, we are still looking for another once-a-month judge on the team, or a handful of guest judges. Other than participating in the competition a few times, there are no prerequisites to being a judge here -- if you're interested, email us at crackedflash@gmail.com!

Also, check out this Twitter Poll--it'll be open for roughly seven days. We're considering moving to Wordpress, but want some more input!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Have some rules c:

Judge This Week: Mars

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). One entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT! 

Results announced: Next Wednesday afternoon.

Remember: Your entry must begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories; they're for inspiration (and amusement).)

Prompt 

"You're one of them now," she whispered.

Please enjoy this carefully-curated selection of gifs