Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Year 1, Week 34: Results!

Welcome back to our judging session of Cracked Flash Fiction, Week 34! We had a surplus of fabulous entries this time around, and are pleased to announce our winners!

Honorable Mention

Browniydgrl1 with Frank’s Big Dreams

Mars: This was a very amusing piece (made me chuckle). I can only imagine that they have hamster-sized bunny ears if they can put ants on stilts! I have to wonder what the extent of the hamsters' concept of their living state is; they (or, at least, Hank) recognize(s) that the humans keep them captive--how intelligent are they? The personalities came through the all-dialogue story well; poor Hank and flamboyant Frank. 

Rin: I liked the whimsical tone in this story. The arguing hamsters were fun and distinct. Frank had me laughing with his high society aspirations and I couldn’t help but feel for poor Hank, slowly going mad at the mercy of his cage mate. The idea of a pet society revolving around fashion amuses me. It reminded me fondly of a variation on a Beverly Hills Chihuahua movie. Well done!


First Runner Up

M.T. Decker with 24.984 Centimeters and Counting

Mars: I'd definitely be that one with the horrified look on my face (actually, you probably couldn't have paid me enough money to go into that room (I seriously got nightmares from that episode of the Twilight Zone with the sentient doll)). I felt like the piece was a little unended; I would have liked to know the force behind all this creepy mojo (and who was the room making space for?)--but otherwise, it was well written, and the eerie tone came through the piece really well. I hope Abe and the main character got away alright!


Rin: This one is shiver-worthy! It had this classic, horror, paranormal crime scene feel to it that I adored. I hate, hate, HATE dolls with the passion of a thousand suns, so that alone is creepy to me. Then you had the mini-replica dollhouse, which is never a good omen. I do wish that it had been more clear what was on the character’s neck, that bit confused me. But that last line was fabulous! Loved it!


Y1W34 WINNER!

ParkInkSpot

with Careful What You Select For

Mars: Aha! I loved that DUN DUN DUNNN moment at the end there (good foreshadowing early on--"You must be able to see how dangerous that is."). I liked the journal-entry style of writing after the initial conversation; I felt it flowed nicely (I might have actually preferred the entire piece like this). 

'Robot apocalypse' keeps popping into my mind over this, simply because Dr. Fazzino forgot the one thing that prevents this kind of apocalypse--the human touch. Bad things happen when you let computers (or animals) evolve to get smarter than you!

Rin: I loved the concept of risky genetic experimentation run by a computer program (and let’s admit it: some mishap is bound to happen when we let a computer decide things) combined with the use of real, scientific animal names. The tension built up nicely with each new addition bred into the rodents, gaining size and more advantageous features. It had me on the edge of my seat, waiting to see what would inevitably go wrong! That final line wrapped it up beautifully, with this sense of the horror having only begun. Great story, congrats!

Careful What You Select For
“This is incredibly disturbing to me.” 
“Why’s that?” 
“Leo, this hamster has genetic modifications for climbing?” 
“Generation 34 included some minor modifications to paw structure, yes. It’s got a lateral ‘finger’ including some primate gene sequences, and the latest generations have a limited opposable thumb.” 
“It’s better at gripping.” 
“Better at climbing too, as you can see, Sam. Genetropia is apparently selecting for some arboreal survival advantages. Climbers avoid predators and can reach more food sources.” 
“Genetropia is selecting these gene modifications without intervention. Leo, you must be able to see how dangerous that is. It’s selecting freely from 200000 library animal genomes, and you have no idea what the expert system might consider ‘advantageous’ in the next generation.” 
“Nonsense, the system will automatically discard any result that produces a disadvantageous mutation. Genetropia will only select for better, more survivable animals. We’ll end up with super-rodentia, eventually.” 
Dr. Leo Fazzino’s Genetropia project lab notes, Generation 65. 
“For the recent litters, Genetropia seems to be selecting for traits common to Cricetidae, possiblyRattus rattus. Our hamsteroids have developed longer tails and have been steadily gaining in size for generations.” 
Dr. Leo Fazzino’s Genetropia project lab notes, Generation 85. 
Dipodomys elator, I believe, kangaroo rats may be the source of their overdeveloped hind legs. I’m not sure how much of the original hamster DNA remains, but our modified rodents appear to draw mostly from other species now. Up to five or six pounds, it’s big and it can make tremendous leaps. I’ve had to upgrade the cages several times already.” 
Dr. Leo Fazzino’s Genetropia project lab notes, Generation 113. 
“The modified rats are gone; apparently they’ve learned to work latches. Down into the basement, they’ve made it in the sewers. I only pray they aren’t as intelligent as I suspect.”


Thank you all for your participation, and hope to see you back this Saturday! :D

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 34

Happy After-Good-Friday Day and Easter Eve! I don't think it's a holiday, but every Saturday's a holiday to us judges, and we're excited to see what this not-one-but-totally-a-holiday Saturday turns out!




Judges This Week: Rin and Mars

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). One entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday afternoon.

Remember: Your entry must  begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories, they're for inspiration (and sometimes our amusement)).

Prompt

"This is incredibly disturbing to me."


Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Year 1, Week 33: Results!

(Source)

Just how much do you think Si and Rin enjoyed this prompt and the stories submitted?

A LOT.
These ACTUALLY EXIST you guys!
 Y'all are awesome people to keep dropping by and submitting stories to our little house of crazy flash fiction here.

We're super SUPER happy to see people commenting on other's stories also! We're a little community of cracked writers! *wipes away tear*

(Just don't tell Flavio we picked Butterfly instead of Moth for our theme. Hushhhhhh)

And now ... WINNERS!

Honorable Mention

Verbal with The Butterfly Effect

Si: The poor awkward main character! I was cringing for them. The last few lines—the actual interaction—is pure gold. Poor main character, mixing up the advice given by their friend into an awkward jumbled heap! “It’s hard to say which of us is more confused. ”-- this made me laugh. And that final image of Todd's obvious confidence in his friend, and the main character's true situation—ouch! Great timing on ending the story just where it packs the most punch and the most cringe-worthy image. One thing I would add is maybe faster pace in the beginning, and more description of the scene. It's very dialogue-heavy, which is great—I would like a bit more imagery showing us the store, are there any other people about to witness the main character's embarrassing situation, does he have an escape route? Amusing story and great scene!

Rin:
 I laughed all my way through this. I’m a self-proclaimed awkward nerd, who would have played(who am I kidding, still would!) tabletop games like that, so I definitely connect with the character, especially with that friend of his. I may have shook my fist at his friend’s dissing of them. One my favorite lines was ‘Todd nudges me towards her with all the subtlety of a rampaging hippo.’ Love the mental imagery there. The dialogue with the girl had a great mix of awkward tension and realistic-situation humor. I loved how his friend mistook her taking her phone out and that last line was a great wrap up for it. Comedy gold!


First Runner Up

Jeff Rowlands with Duel

Si:  I was so fooled for the first two paragraphs in this story—was TOTALLY imagining a fencing duel. Little did I know the weapon was even more deadly—the dreaded chili pepper! I love how the narrator's messy hair and thick glasses become an advantage to him in this situation—they are protected by them. I like their strategy of appearing totally invincible—even going so far as to shove a handful of chilies into their mouth—and defeating their opponent by their show of confidence. One thing I would suggest is to make the writing style more consistent throughout the story—for example, “Now is the time to really turn the heat up on him.” compared to “I see beads of sweat trickle down his bald head and I can see that he is human, breakable and beatable.” There are slight grammar/punctuation mistakes, and one line has a more casual style, while the other reads more like a high drama. I would look out for those to make sure the focus stays on the great story you're telling! The game isn't up until the narrator grabs a handful of chilies instead of the blade I was expecting. Great story!

Rin: This one was fun! I liked the description of the main character having a bit of nerdy look to him and the hint shown in the beginning that his opponent was someone that he’d faced before and had suffered at the hands of in some way. Got to love a bit of poetic justice! The use of the prompt to suggest that it was actually a struggle for the main character was a nice touch and a good use of the prompt. Having eaten habaneros, I can squirm along as he pops a scotch bonnet in his mouth. The only thing I had a problem with was, unless the MC was trying to be very macho, he(as a chili-eating champion) probably should have known not to drink alcohol after eating hot peppers, because it breaks down the capsaicin, but spreads it around and doesn’t neutralize it, which tends to intensify the burn. Yowch! Thanks for the fun story!


Y1W33 WINNER!

Steph Ellis

with I wish I may, I wish I might

Si: AH! This story is SO high tension! Seriously, my heartbeat was definitely increasing with every line. It reads deceptively smoothly, but is filled with turns of phrase and little descriptions that give it a distinctive edge--”She shivered as tendrils of cold night air staked their claim on her body” for example, beautiful phrasing there. The tension just keeps ramping up all the way to the end—the reader is right there with Simone as she runs. What a situation! Beautiful imagery showing the reader Simone's pregnancy—and the precarious situation she's in. Excellent job letting the reader imagine the terror and urgency at the very end, with short lines that let us think up the worst all on our own. And the ending—I was half-expecting it, but it landed with a chilling punch. We can feel Simone's fear and hope, the refuge just barely out of reach, the lurking predator behind … ! Really well done. I applaud you!


Rin: My word, this was so good! The subject was very compelling and I couldn’t help but feel for Simone’s plight. The conflict was obvious and the stakes were good and high. The description was good, adding both tone and an easy setting to imagine. I could feel her fear and her hope. I cheered her escape attempt and hoped to see her succeed, for her sake and that of her unborn child. So when she failed, after getting so close, it made it that much more poignant. Sadder, given the thought of how many women truly do go through this situation. The pacing in this was spot on and amped up the tension beautifully. Fantastic job! Congrats!

I wish I may, I wish I might 
“Now I feel like ninja butterflies are throwing ninja stars at my stomach.” 
Ray laughed as Simone’s puny arms continued to batter him. He had always been stronger than her and mocked her for her weakness. She would do as she was told, as she always did.
He held the door open. “Go on then.”
She shivered as tendrils of cold night air staked their claim on her body.
“No,” he said, taking the coat from her. “The punters need to see what they’re buying.”
The streets were empty, shelter sparse. Ray wouldn’t be far away, watching. Yet no cars cruised by, no one walked her street. No customers tonight would make him angry. Instinctively her hand ran over the slight curve of her belly. That was where he would aim his attack if she failed again. She couldn’t risk it, she had her own ninja butterfly to protect; already she could feel its delicate flutterings as it stretched its wings in the safety of her womb. Ray would not allow it to emerge from its cocoon. Of that she was sure. It was time to make a decision.
There was a night shelter not far away, she knew those who worked there. More than once they had offered to help but fear had held her back. Now though …
I wish I may, I wish I might, she whispered to the stars glittering above her, pushing down the terror, feeding off hope.
She started to walk towards the shelter, heard footsteps behind her. She started to run, feet and heart pounding in rhythm, never looking back even as her pursuer gained on her. 
Lights ahead, closer. Her breathing shallower, fear blossoming. 
Closer. 
Closer still.
Lights. Voices. Hope.
Closer.
A hand. Darkness. Silence.


We'll catch you this Saturday, with another totally sane prompt! WE WILL MEET AGAIN!
*giant moth beats wings overhead*

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 33

WE HAVE A THEME OKAY

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

...

Well actually I (we) come to do neither of those things. We're here to THROW A CHALLENGE AT YOU!

Think fast!

So you've survived Pi Day. You've survived the Ides of March. But can you survive our prompt? Can you write 300 words in the next 24 hours?

Are YOU ready?

Then arm yourself with your trusty writing implement, and let us meet at dawn!



Judges This Week: Si and Rin

Word Count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title(and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday afternoon.

Remember: Your entry must  begin with the prompt! The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. Pictures do not need to be incorporated into your stories, they're for inspiration(and sometimes our amusement).

Prompt

"Now I feel like ninja butterflies are throwing ninja stars at my stomach."

Inspirational MEMES





THIS DISGUSTING ACT OF TRICKERY WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN HUMAN | image tagged in butterfly tattoo,AdviceAnimals | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Year 1, Week 32: Results!

I'm free! I'm free! I have my life back! *dances*

Great, now I've got a song stuck in my head.
Hi it's Si, and I have returned to populate your lives with memes and webcomics.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:

ok maybe a little ado


Honorable Mention

Firdaus with Strange Encounter

Si: First of all, I liked the twist/interpretation of “planner” here—it felt very natural and the story flows well right from the first line! Speaking of first line, Si notes the rules linked in each challenge post and stares at you. We shall accept it as a rather artistic interpretation of #2 … THIS TIME! Continuing, this story has great, snappy dialogue and well-realized characters, though I would like a few more details on the woman's situation. I was amused by how the main character starts off protesting, then plays along for a bit, then finally admits their position. I like how they quickly decide to go with the flow in the situation. This story showcases an amusing and quirky encounter, given just enough details to give it color and draw in the reader and keep them reading, but not so few we don't know what's going on. Excellent interaction between the characters, it felt very real and believable. I could see this happening to a stressed-out soon to be bride and a confused new arrival somewhere in the real world. Well done!

Mars: There was one time I was sitting in the computer lab, minding my own business, when this girl came in and sat right next to me, and started talking to me. Naturally, politely, I nodded along as she spoke, but next thing I knew, it was thirty minutes later, she was gone, and I had no idea what had just occurred. Some people manage to rope you right into their life without you being able to get in a word edgewise! That's what this story reminded me of, haha. The awkward, "It's socially expected to act politely, but I'm really not here for what you think I am," moment.

(Gentle mention of rules here) And the poor main character! S/he never got directions! It's like walking downstairs to get bread, then forgetting what you wanted, then walking back up the stairs and remembering at the top that you wanted bread and that's why you went down in the first place. 

First Runner Up

Steph Ellis with Forgotten

Si: Excellent atmosphere in this story! This is a very emotive piece. Though we know little about the main character, by the end we (or, at least I, must stay accurate) feel a sense of poignancy in the last line. We never knew the main character but we feel for them. Why is the main character forgetting people? I like how the story shows the main character grasping at pieces of their memory as it flows away in such a prosaic way—writing lists. The open questions in the story make us want to know more. I love the reason for the lists-- “I write their names because they are no longer here and I don’t want them to be forgotten and I don’t want to forget. How else will I remember who I am?” Beautiful writing in this piece. As I read it, I can think of two kinds of “disappearing” for the people. The first: the main character as a patient in a memory ward, where “disappearing” refers to the person vanishing from the main character's memories. The second would be a more literal disappearing as in a magical realism setting, or through death. This story makes me want to find out more about the main character and the world they live in. Great story! 

Mars: So, is the character writing the names down because the owners of said names disappear, or are the owners disappearing because the character is writing the names down? This is a very thought-evoking piece; who is the character, where did they come from, do they have magic, are all the people in the world disappearing? Is the time stream being rewritten or something? 

The writing is also smooth and flowing; it's an excellent piece of flash fiction!

Y1W32 WINNER!

Kelly Griffith 

with Revelation 16:15

Si: Okay, this is good! I love how you maintain control of the flow of information to the reader—there's a steady progression of dawning understanding as we read on, excellent job keeping us guessing all the way through! I liked how you kept the theme of who's a planner and who's not throughout the piece. Excellent imagery throughout the story! My favorite lines are the last three: “I peel them gently from their corpses and ship them in crates you can't see, some up, some down. Nine out of ten of them are screaming their surprise that it's not what they thought it would be. They weren't planners, either.” The interpretation of life—or souls—as products in a grand company of death is unique and well developed. I like how we get a sense of the main character's personality through their own voice—the first person works very well here. It should be noted that Si probably missed every single reference in this story, and I still thought it was amusing and very clever. Overall, excellent writing and great story!

Mars: "Behold, I come as a thief. Blessed is he that watcheth" (KJV). The voice of the main character in this piece is alive and entertaining. (That Titanic line? Golden.) I love how the angel of main character talks about their duty like it's any other job; it really makes me curious as to what these "office politics" are--how many people does He employ? Along those lines, "novice days"; what's the creation story here? Intriguing after-life story! That last paragraph is a kicker--I still get a chuckle out of it as I re-read. Love the bookend use of the prompt!
Revelation 16:15  
I'm not really a planner. Planning's fine for the boss, but my work doesn't allow for it. Who-moved-my-cheese doesn't fly when you've got thousands of products needing to ship instantly, and tomorrow could be dead. Firefighters don't plan; they're ready. Always. That's how it is with me. I don't expect you planner-organizers to understand. Just don't judge me. Don't hate. 
Just-in-time inventory or lean manufacturing- my boss takes them to a whole new realm. We keep zero inventory. The instant I get a product, I sort it and out it goes, quick as a breath. We only have two accounts, but they're enormous. Think Walmart and China. Between them they've got the whole market captured, though one of them is more of an umbrella company with scores of subsidiaries: The wide road, if you will. 
I've been called a flunky by those who'd like to demoralize me, just a glorified busboy. Office politics can be ruthless. I'm above it. 
In my novice days, I tried to prepare for the galactic orders I could smell coming, wars and plagues and such. But there's no planning with my boss. I'd go one place, expecting a windfall, and lo- death would be blooming someplace else entirely. No one's allowed to know who's next, not even me. Security reasons. Who would've thought He'd actually sink the Titanic just because they said it was unsinkable? Brazen move, that one. I scurried around like a mother trying to keep up with the orders. So there's no planning. It's standard policy in death. 
I peel them gently from their corpses and ship them in crates you can't see, some up, some down. Nine out of ten of them are screaming their surprise that it's not what they thought it would be. They weren't planners, either.


Join us next week for more fun with a dash of madness! Until then, may the wings of Flavio ever beat in your favor!

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 32


SI'S BACK! :D

Judges This Week: Si and Mars!

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday afternoon.

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (And remember that your entry must begin with the prompt! And you don't have to incorporate the picture(s); they're there for ideas (and sometimes our amusement))

Prompt

"I'm not really a planner."


Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Year 1, Week 31: Results!

I was shocked when I came to check on the entries and was told there were twenty! Turns out that there were really only ten and the rest were responses from other participants. It would have been awesome to have twenty entries, but hey, we love to see interaction between y'all in the comments section too! Y'all are great!

Honorable Mention

Maggie Akhurst with Superhero

This was pure fun! Good tension all the way through, relieved in short bursts with their preoccupation on the questionable sparkliness of his suit. The character’s felt whole and the dialogue felt natural. My favorite line was “It appears the man responsible for the accident was found near his car, cuffed to a sign post. He told the police that a man in a sparkly blue suit had stopped the car with his bare hands.” It made me laugh and I like how it twisted around to him actually not pretending. Thanks for the amusing story!

First Runner Up


Nancy Chenier with Back on Track

There was so much I enjoyed about this story. All the little descriptions set us firmly in the setting and made it easy to visualize. The way the prompt was used. Every detail— the resemblance to the teaching assistant, the vertigo, the mentions of paradoxes and getting knifed twice before, etc— all pointing to what was going on, but keeping the reader guessing until the end to know who the characters were and what was really happening. The characters both felt distinct and I liked how it all felt awkward to the pov character, stepping back in time like that. My favorite line was ‘Screams— metal and human— settle with the concrete dust.’ I could just hear it! Very good description. Great job!


Y1W31 WINNER!

Bill Engleson

with 300 speculative words

This one was just so jam packed with tension. The dialogue was done excellently, full of authenticity that made the characters come alive and conflict that made the story engaging. The pace kept moving right along and the two characters were clearly distinct from one another. I can’t express how much I loved how the whole story is a behind-the-scene alternative twist(or is it?) on the real life Granville-Paris accident, including the name of the woman who’d been killed by it, which spurred me to look it up. I learned something new, which is always awesome. Very clever. Excellent job!

300 speculative words 
Excerpt of the official inquest into the death of Marie-Augustine Aguillard, the sole fatality in the tragic events of October 22nd, 1895
"You have about ten seconds to explain why you pretended to..."
“What, sir? Know what I’m talking about? Are you suggesting that I am speaking through my hat? Do you doubt my words?”
“Yes, after a fashion. This inquest doesn’t have time for obfuscation. We have here a tragedy of epic proportion. Mr. Westinghouse has categorically stood behind his air brakes. To suggest for even a moment that his mechanism was in some way responsible for this human–caused accident is scandalous, sir.”
“I was there that day, sir, at the Gare Montparnasse Terminal, waiting for my wife who had been visiting family. We had travelled, in point of fact, to France specifically for her to reunite with cousins from her mother’s side of the family. They live in Mont Saint-Michel Bay. She had extended her stay and I was most anxious to see her. We had never been apart.”
“This does not make you an expert in train catastrophes. Not by a long shot, sir. You told the examining magistrate that, from your vantage point, the express was clearly travelling at…and I believe these were your exact words…”an irresponsibly fast clip but not so fast as to render reliable airbrakes inoperable.”
“My exact words. As for the accuracy of my statements, I have a brother who lives in Wilmerding, who once worked at Mr. Westinghouse’s Air Brake Factory, and who once let slip that a socialist contingent within the factory workforce were systematically sabotaging the product.”
“Slanderous gossip. Utter nonsense. We all regret the death of poor Mrs. Aguillard but it was an Act of God, if it was anything. To suggest that hard-working Americans had anything to do with the peculiarities of fate is shameful.” 
“I know what I know, sir.”
“Which, I submit, is next to nothing.”



Join us again next week, as we welcome back the third member of our trio, Si, and bring back our two-judge format! Hope to see y'all then!


Saturday, March 5, 2016

Cracked Flash: Year 1, Week 31

Wow, this time already? This last week has gone by awfully fast and it's crazy how both St. Patrick's Day and Easter are just weeks away! Got lots to plan and do between now and then... Anyone else ready for a vacation?

Without further ado...




Judge This Week: Rin

Word count: 300 max

How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter hand or blog if you have any). Only one entry per person.

Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!

Results announced: Next Wednesday (late afternoon).

Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition. (Don't forget, entries must begin with the prompt!) Pictures are only intended for inspiration(and our amusement) an do not need to be included in your story.


Prompt

"You have about ten seconds to explain why you pretended to..."

Train Wreck, Steam Locomotive, Locomotive, Railway

Head, Woman, Transparent, Empty, Hollow, Bokeh

Genuine, Fake, Factory, Shop, Clothes

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Year 1, Week 30: Results!

I (Mars, your judge this week!) have excellent news! Sie is almost finished with her collegey interviews (which means we can get back to a 2-judge format again soon)! 

I hate beans. (Sie loves them.)
Also, I'm dying of laughter from looking up "Yay gifs"
I mean, look at this one
Anywho, onward and upwards!

Honorable Mention

R Matt Lashley with The Linoleum Floor

Normally, I hate stories like this. It's depressing and nothing really happens other than reflection on the main character's parents and history. But the main character is very compelling, and the writing excellent. Using the linoleum floor as a theme to tie everything in the story together also gives the piece a very cohesive sense. I love the details dropped here and there ("Mom wouldn't let him smoke in the house."), and the way the character randomly goes off on tangents ("The giant flower pattern with its big loops reminds me of a circus clown's big, loopy bow tie.") (that reminds me of myself). 

"Then mom left. I mean, she was there, but she wasn't. You get the idea," is another fabulous(ly terrible) line. This piece is filled with flowing imagery and emotion. 

First Runner Up

Carin Marais with Rain From a Clear Sky

The concept of the three sisters has been done before, but I enjoy the idea (and paradox) of three sisters of time, those being Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow. Their personalities, too, are distinctive--Yesterday is motherly ("Listen to your sister"; you can practically hear the hands on her hips), Today is young and naive ("He will become immortal?"), and Tomorrow is the pragmatic ("Not immortal"). Dealing with the paradox of time shifting and today eventually becoming yesterday and tomorrow becoming today, one wonders at how the three sisters remain the same (or do they? Today ought to know the consequences for not weaving someone's thread in, right? Was Today Tomorrow Yesterday (that sentence!)?)

I'm curious as to why Today loved him. How long has she been observing him, and how? (We see that Tomorrow has the ability to look into the future--was Today Tomorrow and watching Ansgar?) 
"But I love him," Today whispered. Tears pooled in her eyes.
"Then do right by him."
This was my favorite exchange in the piece, since we all know what's coming after it, but we wish it didn't have to be so, but we know it does. It punches the feels right in the gut. 

Y1W30 WINNER!

Sara Codair

with Metamorphosis 

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I was surprised and pleased by the sudden happy ending (or, at least, I interpreted it as such, since "light" + "wings" indicates "Angel" to me, which is a more fitting end for someone who saved a mere mortal than to die or become a demon!). It certainly made me wonder about the type of immortals in this story, and what the deal is with demons (are they immortals), and if the Earth-bound immortals know about angelic immortals. What's the infrastructure of this world? Do mortals know about immortals (or are they just thought to be myths)? What are animals perceptions of immortals?

For some reason, I find it highly amusing the way the main character just sits among the animals, moping. I imagine s/he's sitting on a stump, dejected and all "Woe is me" (except not, because s/he has no regrets!), just waiting for death to come. The character is strong enough that the visual is painted in my eye without it having to be described!

Metamorphosis 
"I'm just getting worse and worse," I say looking down at the black veins slowly creeping towards my heart. 
“You shouldn’t have let the demon bite you,” replies Raquel. Her dark eyes show no sympathy. 
“Was I supposed to just let it eat that kid?” 
She shrugs. “The ‘kid’ is a mortal.” 
“He’s only ten. He might have 90 years ahead of him.” 
“Nine decades pass in the blink of an eye. We endure when we are smart. Your decision wasn’t smart. You gave up eternity to allow some mortal a few decades. For all you know, he will get hit by a bus on his way home and perish in spite of you sacrifice.” 
Raquel picks of her bag and walks away. 
I sit down on a tree stump, watching her body move away with serpentine grace. However, even a being as cold as she cannot hide all emotion. Her fingers quiver, and her heels dig deep into the earth.


As the sun goes down, the woods come alive. Owls hoot and hunt, competing with the bobcats and foxes for the small mice and voles scurrying across the forest floor.
 
The poison continues to rise in me, turning my veins black. It doesn’t hurt. In fact, I can’t really feel much at all.  
“This will be a good death,” I say to the critters. 
It’s not right to endure forever. Here, my body will fade back to earth, feeding the never-ending cycle of life and death. I have no regret about my decision to save the boy. 
The crickets are singing by the time my chest goes numb and my heart stops beating. I’m prepared to cease when pain tears through my back. A blinding light consumes me as wings sprout from my spine.
 Congratulations, everybody!

See y'all this Saturday! :D