Year 1, Week 7: Results!

We were pleased to have three very varied entries to choose from this time around. The mishap on Saturday had us wondering if we'd get any at all!

Honorable Mention

Ophelia Leong's Neighborly Duties

Rin: This was a fun one. I liked how Matthew wasn't really all that interested, a nice twist on the typical vampire/human scenario. My favorite line was "Superglue dripped onto the floor like sap and Elena hid the paintbrush in the trashcan," because that bit of description puts a vivid picture in my head of how it would squish under the feet when he stood up. Nice job.

Mars: This felt both done and not done--I like to imagine Matthew suddenly jumping out of his shoes and driving a hidden stake through Elena's heart (I also wonder where she got that superglue that doesn't dry for five minutes? I'd like some)--but it did make a nice little story arc for a flash. Matthew's obvious disdain/disinterest was a nice touch, as opposed to the the normal love-at-first-sight scenarios in typical YA Urban Fantasy fiction. Something else I'm just noticing: the word style is done well here; it feels flowing and quite . . . surreptitious. Stealthy, flowing, cat-like. Good job!

(Bonus points to you for making me learn a new word: surreptitious. Also, Elena's "no man should be able to resist me!" thought made me think of a Mockingjay parody (observe lyrics "Gale and I have chemistry . . ."))

First Runner Up

M T Decker's Hypothetically Speaking

Rin: I love crime-scene type shows, so this story was a treat for me! The dialogue was good and flowed well, giving me a good idea of the character's personalities even without the help of much description. I like how instead of having it where the answer is clear, the characters went through a bunch of different scenarios in which someone might have a use for it. Especially enjoyed the mention of a real-life forensic science thing, fingerprint fumigation. Well done!

Mars: (I forgot to finish this I'm so sorry) Dialogue-heavy stories are something I'm generally very fond of; it pleased me to see a flash that carries a plot well through mostly dialogue. I am left wondering what conclusion Gina was drawn to, but that feels like part of the charm for the speculating, progressive tone of the piece. I like the look into Gina and her husband's relationship--we see one side of them in the brainstorming session, but there's a hint towards something else; nicely done character dynamics without being flashy. Nice work.

And, without further ado, the moment you've all been waiting for--

Y1W7 Winner!

Josh Bertetta

with A Sticky Situation

Rin: I loved this one! The mysterious feel was good and I liked how I was kept guessing how the super glue would tie in until the very end. My favorite line was "He didn’t care about her deformed ear, her abnormal arm, or club foot. He loved her for who she was," because the sweetness of it really did a good job of making me question my own intuition and whether I was reading more suspicious things into what came above it, making that last line really pop!

Mars: It took me a few re-reads to understand exactly was going on, and then I had a little "Awww" moment. The suspense was artfully played up to drive home the last line--what exactly his greatest work was. The reader can tell how obviously he dotes upon her--even before his declaration of love--which demonstrates excellent characterization. This is a really cute piece!

A Sticky Situation 

“Why do you have a pound of superglue—you know what? Never mind. I don’t want to know…I’ll just trump it up to another one of your idiosyncrasies.” She smiled, and tucked her hair behind her good ear, leaving her thick auburn locks covering the other. 

He asked her if she’d like a drink; she accepted. 

They sat across from one another, the tub of superglue on the mahogany coffee table, and sipped the brandy in silence. He stared into her large round eyes, then let his own admire the perfect symmetry of her face. A paragon of beauty. 

“Can I use your restroom?” 

“Of course. Shall I help you?” 

“Thank you, but I think I can manage.” She propped herself up on her cane, and hobbled toward the hallway. “Third door on the left, right?” 

“That’s right.” 

He refilled her drink, and waited, musing over the work to be done—his greatest work, his magnum opus. 

Upon her return, she thanked him for refilling her drink, sat, and together they shared hopes and dreams and thoughts on life. She liked him, and she knew he knew it; he loved her and he knew she knew it.

He didn’t care about her deformed ear, her abnormal arm, or club foot. He loved her for who she was. But she neither loved herself nor believed her worthy of love. 

She took a big sip of brandy, set the tumbler down, and yawned big and heavy. Her perfect cheeks flushed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I—I—”

Her eyelids grew heavy; she eked out an embarrassed smile, and passed out. 

He cradled her in his arms, brushed back her hair, and kissed her forehead; he bent at the knee and picked up the bottle of “Dr. Frankenstein’s Medical Grade Biotic Super Glue.”

 Great job, everybody! See you on Saturday (this time on time, heh)~

Year 1, Week 6: Results!

We were disappointed by the amount of entries that we received last week--there's not much of a competition if there's only two entries to choose from! Even so, two stories are better than one--we'd like to give a big round of applause to our two contestants--Steph Ellis and Ophelia Leong! 

First Runner Up

Steph Ellis' Sometimes Holidays Really Get Your Goat

Rin: Dai and Will are fun characters in their incompetent goonishness and I wonder what made them get into the devil-worshiping in the first place. There was a lot of comical dialogue and back story throughout, especially the idea that the devil had had his holiday fire pit ruined last time. It was greatly amusing to imagine that. My favorite line was 'The small goat continued to chew on Dai's shoe, a picture of innocence.' because I can just see that and I love how it comes out at the end that they'd had the right one all along and he'd tricked them. Sounds just like what a mischievous spawn of the devil might do!

Mars: This was an amusing take on the prompt--a clever play on words. The character dynamics stood out, too--Dai and Will make for a good, humorous character pairing. The joke at the end--actually having the right kid--made the piece complete. It also prompts an intriguing question--what made Dai and Will pick up "this devil worship lark" in the first place?

Y1W6 Winner!

Ophelia Leong

with Changeling Duty

Rin: I love faerie lore and all things mythology, so this was a fun one for me. I especially liked Deenan's character and wonder whose bright idea it was to let him lead a newbie onto the 'child-swapping' field with only one job under his belt. No wonder they bungled it, King Oberon ought to chew out their commanding officer instead! XD The dialogue was entertaining and Deenan's attempt to boss around a toddler with formal talk was amusing. My favorite sentence was definitely 'A dewy blue eye peered down at Sephira and a drop of drool from a toothy grin fell on her face.' It was good description and evokes a strong 'Ew!' response from me. I just squirm at the idea of being drooled on. Gross! Nice job.

Mars: This was another amusing take on the prompt--I don't read a lot of faerie lore (and usually the faeries I read about are closer to the traditional kind), so it's fun to see into a changeling job. I, like Steph, was expecting the toddler to take a chomp out of one of the faerie's heads (which would have quickly turned an amusing story into something much more dark, I suppose . . .). It's also a little amusing that they could be caught so easily by a tiny kid. Well done!

Changeling Duty

“Oh no. We brought the wrong kid.” 

“You’re kidding me.” 

“No, really. Look. He’s too big to be a baby.” 

Sephira glanced at the bundle of blankets on the grass, anxiously twisting her silver-green hair between her fingers. She had to admit it had been difficult to fly whilst carrying it, but… 

“Deenan, you told me you had everything checked out. You said that was the right house! We already put the changeling in!” 

Deenan scratched his long, pointed ears, his fine features red with embarrassment. “I’m sorry. This is only my second time doing this, okay? Changeling duty isn’t easy.” 

“You’re telling me! I waited forever for this and now my partner just bungled my first job!” 

Just then, they heard a yawn and a soft rustling behind them. Sephira’s heart turned cold. Deenan’s purple eyes widened and he trembled. Changeling duty was not known to be dangerous to faeries, since they usually handle babies, but an older kid was another story altogether. 

“Ooh, new toys!” 

Sephira tried to fly away, but strong little fingers grabbed her wings. She struggled, calling for Deenan, but he was caught in the kids’ other hand! 

A dewy blue eye peered down at Sephira and a drop of drool from a toothy grin fell on her face. 

“Ew!” she exclaimed as she tried to wiggle free. “Deenan, talk to it! Do something! This is all your fault!” 

“Human child! Let go of us at once! We do not belong in your realm!” Deenan shouted wobbly as the child shook him about. 

Sephira rolled her eyes. “I don’t think it understands Faerie court talk, genius.”

The kid began walking back towards the house, still holding the faeries. Sephira sighed; what was worse, a scolding from Oberon or playtime with a toddler?

Hope to see more of y'all next week!