|I don't have a lot of stuff to say this week,|
so have a cat! I hope all of you lovelies are safe and sound c:
Ronel Janse van Vuuren's Idiocy
This piece makes me a little nostalgic, as its tone rather hearkens back to the early days of CFF, when it was just three writers writing little wacky, nonsensical things in ten or so minutes. I can actually envision these kind of wacky hijinks in comic format, and it's amusing me a lot. Piece-wise, the entire thing feels like a climax until the last few lines, though it kind of adds to the charm--it might be useful to experiment with some build-up to battling/escaping the chimera, however. Overall, thanks for making me smile.
First Runner Up
Alva Holland's My Name is Damien
This piece got a chuckle out of me with the last two lines. I enjoyed the characterization through dialogue--particularly the unwritten dialogue of maybe-Damien's-Mom. Alice's exasperation, Damien's anxiety, and maybe-Damien's-Mom's "what in the world is going on" all come through clearly. I would suggest attempting to cut some words before the phone conversation--that is, tighten up the piece so the reader reaches the point of the story sooner; my attention started to waver around "Are you sure you haven't lost it already?" Either way, though, amusing piece. Nice job!
with Survival 101
"I used to be vegan," is the line that kept repeating in my head after I read this piece. I think that line really captures the tone of this clearly dystopian story. I can also empathize with the main character here--I don't like most fish, and I'm terrible at fishing. (Nature would probably kill me off.) This piece doesn't have an obvious climax and all, but that feels like a point of the tale. Nature happens as nature does, with or without humans' presences. I am very curious as to what caused the decline in the human population, though that's nonessential to the story. Poignant and thought-provoking. Good job!
"Try a different one.” Joe frowned as the wriggling worm fell into the bucket of dirt.
I arched my eyebrows. “A worm is a worm.”
“The fat ones are juicier and slower. Easier to hook, more likely to attract fish.”
I sighed. “I don’t even like fish.”
“Would you rather eat the worm?”
“I’d rather eat nuts berries.” I gazed at the sun glistening on deep blue, vibrant leaves with orange-tinted tips and wispy seeds forming atop grass.
“Those’ll be hard to come by next month.” Joe dug weathered fingers into the bucket, pulling out a short worm barely able to wriggle, and handed it to me. “You want to survive, don’t you?"
“I used to be vegan.” My stomach wriggled like the obese worm, half-heartedly threatening to eject raspberries.
Joe’s laughter shook the remains of his shrunken belly. “Just hook the damned worm.”
Despite its protest, my stomach knew food was hard to come by, and held the berries while I jabbed the rusty, barbed metal into the worm, scrunching it like I was forcing a new curtain onto an old rod.
“That’s the spirit. Plant your feet and cast like I showed you.”
I obeyed. My tortured worm plopped into the shimmery blue. I watched the ripples grow as they approached shore. “What now?”
“Now we wait.” Joe lowered his raisen-like body onto a silvery rock. “We wait and we pray.”
I nodded, but remained standing. Winged-insects flittered across the water close to shore. A water-strider fell victim to a frog blending his body with a rotten log. A dragon fly landed on my nose, its wings tickling a smile out of my face. The last scientist I met said the human population might never recover. Nature, though, was doing just fine.
Stay safe, everybody :) <3