Sara Codair's Dragon's Bane
Ah, classic hunter becomes prey! This is certainly an unexpected role reversal--a cat ending up murderizing a dragon. This short piece is packed with a lot of questions and not too many answers; a line or two of context on how this situation came about for the unfortunate dragon would go a long way. The image here, however, is very poignant and reminds everyone that the cat is not to be trifled with.
First Runner Up
Daisy Warwick's How to Tranquilize a Dragon
It's really nice here that the dragon is not impervious to leading to its own demise--a welcome turn from dragons being traditionally killed by humans (sucks for him that dragons are able to be affected adversely by fire in this story!). I also wonder what else the dragon has been doing in these last one hundred years other than terrorizing--it seems awfully foolish to burn down something that has properties you have no idea about!
I really like the writing of this piece--it's very fluid and steady, consistent until the end where there's the reveal to what's going on. The pacing is nice, and the internal beffudlement is done well.
Ronel Janse van Vuuren
with Dragon Flight
I enjoy the thought of mythical species all getting together to play games, and it intrigues me as to how the rules of these games work. Do they dictate who gets to rule over the humans until the next while? Who can win what prizes? How did this gaming tradition come about, with different species and everything? It's definitely a brilliant spectacle to imagine this all in my head.
I like the formatting of the piece--the relatively short paragraphs with even shorter lines to punctuate the action. The line that bothered me the most out of this piece, however, was "And then..." The punctuation here seems incongruous with the action of the story; an ellipse (...) indicates a pause or hesitation. Here, an em-dash (--) seems more appropriate for a more "jarring" sensation. (I have a thing about punctuation >.>)
The ending line amused me; it reminds me fondly of a game I like to play (Choice of the Dragon). The way this piece is written has a light-hearted tone to it, which is apt for the game. Good job!
(P.S. Your name is fun to type)
The dragon was too slow. The wyvern had already intercepted the flaming pearl and was heading to the goal post. If the blue team won again, he wasn’t going to hear the end of it. Flapping for all he’s worth, he raced after the wyvern.
Down below, the crowd was roaring and blasting illegal flames toward the players. The phoenix on the dragon’s team took a quick fire-bath to rid himself of parasites. The dragon closed his eyes briefly as the amphithere laughed so hard that he shook from his feathery frill to his sparkling goldish tail. The Asian Lung hadn’t closed its eyes and was momentarily blinded by his teammate’s glitter.
The dragon swerved. As captain of his team, it seemed that everyone else had it out for him. Especially the fire-crazy crowd. Another fireball barely missed him and crashed into the wyvern; who dropped the flaming pearl. The dragon swooped down, caught it and flew back towards the opposite goal post.
This was it.
The crowd cheered and jeered. His team protected him against fireballs and opponents. Dragons crashed to the ground. The flaming pearl was burning his paw.
The crowd went wild. The Lung fell out of the air in shock. The phoenix flashed through all the fireballs and caught fire.
And the dragon finally prevailed. As team captain he won the pearl. And he finally acquired his fire. Now he could be a real dragon: he could have a lair, treasure and terrified humans.
Thank you all who participated!
(Mars promises to be more punctual and on-top of the game next time, now that she's mostly moved into her new home!)
See you next Saturday for a round with Si!