Judges This Week: Si and Mars
Word count: 300 max
How: Submit your stories as a comment to this post, along with your name, word count, and title (and Twitter handle or blog if you've got 'em!). Only one entry per person.
Deadline: Midnight tonight, PDT!
Results announced: Next Wednesday!
Remember: The prompt can be mutilated, but not beyond recognition.
YOUR PROMPT:
"I love you."
"You're only saying that because I almost killed you."
"You're only saying that because I almost killed you."
Leonard
ReplyDelete283 words
@el_Stevie
“I love you.”
“You’re only saying that because I almost killed you.”
“You didn’t mean it, it was an accident.”
“I nearly killed you, you could’ve …”
“No, Leonard. It was not your fault.”
“Do I know you?”
“Leonard!”
“Go away, woman. Stop being a bloody nuisance!”
He heard a cry, the sound of a body crumpling.
Leonard turned the telly up. It was going to be a long evening and he couldn’t stand tears at the best of times. The other residents didn’t seem to notice; then again, most seemed to be deaf, dumb or blind, one foot already in the grave. The couple continued to bicker behind him, their conversation echoing round and round in his head. It was particularly annoying that the man shared his name.
Leonard shuddered. He shouldn’t be here. He should be back home in his own armchair by his own fire. He was perfectly capable of looking after himself. Wearily he leaned his head back, closed his eyes. Tried to shut out the smell of disinfectant, of stale urine, of the moulderning scent of decay. Dizziness overwhelmed him and Leonard gripped the chair tightly, his fingers bony claws pressing into the sludge of its cover.
“Mr Jones, Mr Jones. Are you alright?” A woman was smiling down at him.
“Just a bit of a headache, nurse. Those two are right characters aren’t they?”
“What two?”
“That couple bickering. No thought to anyone else.”
The nurse looked. There was nobody there. She glanced at her notes and smiled sadly.
“I think it’s time for your tablets, Mr Jones.”
“She said she loved me,” whispered Leonard. “Even though I nearly killed her.” And his body began to shake.
Ugh, I hate asylums and mental hospitals, etc. So creepy! This was really well done. Started off "normal", then seamlessly transitioned into the twist.
ReplyDelete(Not sure why this won't let me comment as my usual self. KM Zafari, here. Aka: @thebatinthehat)
Thank you! I like your other ID!
Delete@OpheliaLeong
ReplyDelete298 words
On The Train
“I love you.”
“You’re only saying that because I almost killed you. I was so angry with you!”
Nigel was startled and looked up from reading Duck Species of the Western Region. He was sitting on the train, on his way to have lunch with his daughter and son-in-law. On the train, however, he disliked hearing bits of people’s conversations floating up like driftwood on a beach.
“It’s so cute when you say that.”
“You shouldn’t make fun of me, I’m being serious! How could you have done something so dangerous to me?”
Nigel looked around again. There was an elderly Asian woman reading a magazine in front of him, and a young couple sleeping in the seat behind him. Perhaps that shabbily dressed man sitting on the ground was talking to himself. Yes, that was it. Nigel opened up his book and started reading again.
“I enjoy putting you in danger. And you have to admit, you looked great dangling from those ropes. A real 10.”
“I was busy screaming like crazy and trying to fight off the vultures, you idiot!”
“They probably thought you looked delicious too--I mean, devastatingly gorgeous.”
Nigel thought he was going to be sick. Luckily, the train pulled to a wrenching stop and he realized it was time for him to get off. Tucking his book beneath his arm, he promptly resolved to mention the incident to one of the train security guards. They needed to know what sort of people ride these trains.
“Oh no, he’s gone.”
“You probably scared him away, with all that talk of killing and vultures. You sicko.”
“You started it.”
“I do love you.”
The ghosts giggled as the train started up again and winded their hands together, floating away to find more people to taunt.
Come to Grief
ReplyDelete297 words, @pmcolt
"I love you."
"You're only saying that because I almost killed you." Zara pulled her hand away from the glass panel, and the crimson circle that would terminate his life support.
Paralyzed below the neck, the man in the biomedical bed tilted his head toward Zara. "Please... daughter. By law and custom, as my sole relative, only you may end my suffering." His raspy voice raked against Zara's heartstrings.
Zara stared at the husk of a man. Holographic indicators overlaid his medical data. Age: 437. Pulse, blood pressure, brain activity. Diagnosis: Immortality Treatment Rejection Syndrome. Prognosis: progressive paralysis, agonizing pain, death within the year. In his bloodshot eyes, she saw something virtually unknown to modern civilization: real pain. How could she let him suffer in this cold hospital room? She was his daughter: he was her responsibility.
Zara felt the impulse firing through her neurons: the electrochemical command telling her finger to press the button.
"No!" She turned away from him.
"My daughter... Medical science gave me four centuries of life, but has reached its limit. Close the circle. End my suffering."
"Growing up, I dreamed of a father," Zara confessed. "Someone to love me unconditionally. But you weren't there." She turned to him again. "I made my own way in life -- and quite well! Now you send for me, not to make amends, but merely to press a button?"
"Then you hate me. Push the button. Give me what I deserve."
"I don't hate you," Zara said pityingly. "I don't even know you. You're a stranger to me." With one hand, she stroked his brittle hair. With the other, she pressed the button.
"I love you," he mouthed silently, and then he was gone.
Zara slumped to the marble floor and cried. "I love you, too."
@PattyannMc
ReplyDeletewww.pattyannmccarthy.com
WC: 295
The Truth Hurts
“I love you, I really do!”
“You’re only saying that because I almost killed you, aren’t you? You’re baiting me, I can tell! You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“Sweetie, I’m not. I truly mean it, but, uh now that you mention it . . .”
“Yeah? Now that I mentioned it?”
Lisa’s mama taught her to speak the truth, so she took a stab at it.
“Okay, here goes. I sort of think you’re crazy, but . . .”
“Oh! That’s fucking great! My girlfriend thinks I’m fucking crazy! Let me tell you what ‘I’ think. ‘I’ think YOU’RE crazier than me, and you wanna know why? Do ya?”
Lisa began to respond, but Eddie cut her off. She realized it was a rhetorical question and snapped her lips closed.
“Because, you say you love me even though I JUST tried to kill you,” he twirled his hunting knife in the air around his head like a whirligig, coming close to his own ear. “What kind of a nut job stays with someone, still loves someone after THAT someone JUST tried to OFF them? Do you really believe I was only playing with you?”
Her mouth opened again, but he was on a roll.
“You’re crazier than I am if you think I wasn’t really trying to kill you. Why are you smiling? Stop smiling. I’m not joking one damned bit. Come here and let me show you how much I want to hurt you!”
She sidled up to him, grabbed his arm before he could react, and forced his hand holding the knife into his big bazoo of a mouth, his eyes wide with surprise before he fell to his knees, spouting blood like Vesuvius.
“That will teach him to call ME crazy, but, I wonder how he knew."
I Love You
ReplyDeleteWord Count: 268
www.realmommaramblings.wordpress.com
@RealMommaRamble
"I love you."
"You're only saying that because I gave you candy," Tina said, blushing and twirling her pigtails.
"Maybe. You got anymore?"
"You've gotta kiss me first, Max," she teased and jumped off the swings.
"Gross! Girl cooties!"
"Better run, or I'm gonna get you!" Tina giggled as she chased Max around the play ground.
*****
"I love you."
"You're only saying that because I got you the comic book," Tina said, throwing away the wrapping paper.
"Maybe. It really is the grEAtest present."
"Voice crack much?" Tina laughed so hard milk came out her nose.
"Shut up!" His voice cracked again. Tina hit the floor in a hysterical fit of laughter.
*****
"I love you."
"You're only saying that because I helped you with your homework," Tina stretched out on his bed, soaking in the moments he wanted to be around her.
"Maybe. I'd flunk if it weren't for you."
"Yeah you would."
"Shut up!" Max jumped on her to give her a pinch.
*****
"I love you."
"You're only saying that because I helped you get the job," Tina look at the man in the tie standing in front of her.
"Maybe. I could have landed it myself I think."
"HA!"
"Shut up...it could have happened!" Max grabbed her wrist when she turned away.
*****
"I love you."
"You're only saying that because I said it first," Max said as he looked at the beautiful woman before him.
"Maybe. Or maybe I was just waiting for you to mean it," Tina said glancing down at the ring on her finger.
"I love you, Tina."
"I love you too, Max."
I have two corrections please.
Delete1. In the sentence "You're only saying that because I helped you get the job," Tina look at the man in the tie standing in front of her. It should be looked not look.
2. In the sentence near the end of the story "Maybe. Or maybe I was just waiting for you to mean it," Tina said glancing down at the ring on her finger. There should be a comma after said.
Thank you. :)
@firdausp
ReplyDeleteCrashed
(270 words)
"I love you."
You're saying that because— Oh My God! I almost killed you...us!" she sobbed out the last bit. Her head hurt...damn...her whole body hurt.
He held her bandaged hand, bent down to touch his lips to her forehead.
"You're not hurt are you?" She anxiously looked over him.
"Not at all!" He smiled, his arms up as he rotated on his heel.
"What happened?"
"You drove us into a tree."
"I'm sorry...I was so angry!"
"I know."
"You shouldn't have flirted with that waitress..."
"I was just being nice, sweetheart."
"You know how I get..."
"Shhh...just rest."
"How bad is it?" She looked at the tubes running up her arms.
He cleared his throat, " A few stitches on your head, two cracked ribs, right leg fractured in three places, a broken wrist."
"Ouch!" She grimaced,"nothing to write home about...I'm sorry...so sorry."
"Shhh...you need to rest, I love you...will you remember that, no matter what?"
"Yes, I'll try." She gave a watery smile.
Her eyes felt heavy. She felt him kiss the tip of her nose then his lips traced her's as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
She woke up to a room filled with sunlight filtering through the window curtains. Her throat was dry. She watched a nurse adjusting the tubes.
"Is he still here...my husband?"
"Your husband?"
"Yes, he was here last night, I'm so glad he wasn't hurt in the car crash."
"Oh! I'm glad too...sorry about the other person in the car with you, he didn't make it...died last night."
You nailed it again! I live the way you end your stories! It makes one read the whole story again in a more detailed manner.
DeleteTake a bow!
Firdaus, your skill for story telling is incredible.
DeleteYou moved me so much with 'Crashed'. It gave me a lump in the throat and I had to read it several times.
The story pulled me among and I felt such empathy for the characters, in such a skirt space of time.
I really enjoyed this. Keep writing!!
🐦 xx
Fear the Mindkiller
ReplyDelete241 Words
@mishmhem
#FlashDogs
“I love you…” Eveline sighed as Martin helped her to her feet.
He laughed and shook his head. “You’re just saying that because I almost killed you.”
“’Almost’ being the key word there buckaroo…”
“Evie…”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t ‘Evie’ me M. I’m the one who wanted to spar. You warned me…”
“But… I could have seriously hurt you…”
“Could have, yes. And I could just have easily tripped over my own two feet and gotten myself killed…”
“Don’t talk that way.”
Eveline shook her head. “Sauce for the goose, sauce for the gander m’dear. If I can’t talk that way, neither can you.”
Martin sighed, obviously not accepting her admonishment, but admitting she’d trapped him.
“Now what?” He asked.
“Now, take a break, reset and go through it again.”
“Now I know you’re crazy. E, you my nightmares. You know I see myself killing you…”
“And dreams are all they are, this should prove it to you.”
He rolled his eyes. “All it’s proven is you’re insane.”
Eveline shrugged. “As God made ‘em, he matched ‘em,” she answered.
He sighed. “Alright, let me get some tea and we can work through this again.”
“Do it often enough and we can rewrite the nightmare,” she assured him, but once he was gone she grabbed some gauze and applied pressure, determined not to let him see the accidental wound he’d made.
“Fear will be the death of me,” she whispered.