Reviews are gonna be a little shorter today than last week, since I'm having trouble focusing on anything (I also forgot until 6 pm that this was happening today, but shhhh)! Be sure to get enough sleep, guys. It sucks not to.
|^We're trying to avoid this scenario^|
First Runner Up
Daisy Warwick with Morale
This piece made me angry (in a good way). Sam's managing is something most of us have encountered at one point or another (especially women, really), and it's really difficult to not punch people like that in the face. He came through to me as a strongly unlikeable character.
I felt like the build up to the end didn't pay off very well; we aren't aware until that last line that Sam might be romantically interested in Libby (if that indeed is what is happening (and for how misogynist he sounds earlier, it's suprising)). If there had just been a line or two earlier specifically foreshadowing this event (Sam calling them by name, but getting Libby's wrong, and/or being more soft on Libby than he is with Rachel), then the ending wouldn't have been so abrupt and jarring.
The building blocks for Libby and Rachel's characterization are in place and solid, so it was easy to get a feel for each of them; though they could be a little more nuanced, I appreciated the dynamic of the three characters in this piece. Good job!
Sometimes, a little bit of adorableness is just what the doctor ordered; I find myself smiling every time I reread this piece. Its happy tone and realistic set-up feels like a little slice out of reality (looks like I'm on a slice-of-life kick tonight) jumped straight onto the page, though it's not a particularly enthralling piece conflict and plot wise. Though I don't have any kids of my own, I've been right where this dad is with other people's kids (babysitting sure is exciting, innit?), so this piece was very relatable to me. The characterization was also pretty spot on, which is probably why this won a place in my heart--her glee at the game and fun, and his 'siiigh; we're going to be at this all day' attitude. Great job here!
"This isn't what I meant by invisible." I thought as I walked outside to see my daughter dressed in camouflage attire. She was standing up against a tree holding her breath so as not to move an inch from the place she chose to blend into. I'm assuming she had rosy cheeks from the lack of oxygen. If there wasn't black and green marker smeared across her face I might have been able to see her scarlet complexion.
"I wonder where she's hiding?" I shouted while pacing the backyard. She snickered but didn't reveal herself.
"Is she behind the tree?" I asked to no one in particular as I walked past her and around the trunk of the tree. The master of disguise again stayed motionless.
"Maybe she's under the porch?" I walked over to the porch and bent over.
"Oh no!" I yelled as she jumped on my back, knocking me to the ground.
"You didn't find me," she said with a smile on her face. "I get to hide again!" She screamed at me pushing me inside to count, thus starting the monotonous routine that would be the rest of my day.
Thank you all for your participation! Hope to see you this Saturday! (We may have a guest judge this coming week; stay tuned!)
|I have a theme tonight|