I loved the stories this week! Each one had its own unique twist on the prompt. I wish I could tell each writer what I loved about their story… Oh, well.
Here’s this week’s results.
Honourable MentionBill Engleson with Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay! Six Boomers in a Balloon, Away!
I really like the title – it immediately drew me in. Interesting story.
“Brave souls. Willing to risk the inevitable for the sheer experience.” Love this line.
First Runner-UpTipTim with Horns Enterprises
Great imagery! And the last line, very evocative.
Check for typos (e.g. “We we are offering”). Also, keep lines open between paragraphs to make it easier to read.
AJ Aguilar-van der Merwe
with Point of No
You built a great character here: from her hesitancy to her fierceness, she grew in a couple of sentences. I like the fantasy and magic elements – and that’s she’s going to rule!
Remember: dialogue should start in a new paragraph.
It’s not really necessary to tag every piece of dialogue, sometimes what the character is saying is enough to tell the reader what they’re thinking. E.g. “How?” He was unconvinced. (Drop the tag and we’ll still know that he is unconvinced.)
I’d add more about the bouncer’s scariness – just to show how scary the MC really is when she kills him.
Thanks everyone for participating.
Until next Saturday…