Asgardana's The Horror!
I adored this story. It was a heartwarming peek into the personal lives of the characters. I had to love Ana's feisty little sister and her wild imagination! Their personalities were all very distinct from each other and the dialogue sounded natural with a good flow. The slower pace fit the softer tone well and the description made it easy to see the scene playing out. My favorite line was definitely Ana's sister's declaration of vengeance for her make-believe city, for its amusement factor and because it gave the story enough conflict, without changing the tone. Well done!
Dave Novak's 'Accident'
This one was great! Loved the take on the prompt, it was fun and amusing and a twist on the usual super villain verses super hero scenario. You had me shuddering with sympathy at the mention of paperwork in the villain's best-foreseen future. I liked getting into his head as he's running through all that should have gone right- if not for him foiling his own plans. What a mistake to make, from a villain's perspective! My favorite line was, 'Instinct. I saved his life by instinct. Oh, I am so screwed.' That had me laughing. I also liked the touch of Blue Collar Man giving him the business card, which really just feels like a seal on the omen of doom for the poor villain's future in villainy, even more so because he actually accepted it, showing a bit of character growth. Great story!
with Accidentally Saved
Awesome story! The main character was a fun mind to be in while showing us the story, reminding me of some of my favorite dry-humored tv series, and the descriptions made the setting easy to see. I loved the portrayal of the Reaper. It was a nice twist on the character trope, neither the ironically cheery nor the death-breathing silent-type ghouls that are often shown. He felt distinctly otherworldly, almost alien. This one kept me guessing as to what was going on till the very end, making me wonder if this wasn't something to do with aliens or secret agencies, giving it a rising tension as we wait to see what's going to happen. My favorite line out of it was, 'Great. Trust him to smile for the first time and it’s because I’m dead.' Fantastic job!
Accidentally Saved“You saved my life!” I gasped to the young man who’d pulled me from the path of a crazy bus driver.He stared at me, as if only just realising I was there. “It was an accident.” He stepped back.It was my turn to look at him oddly. “You grabbed me - quite forcefully, I might add - and yanked me! Exactly how do you manage that accidentally?”“I was only supposed to be observing.”“Observing what?”“You.”I took a cautious step away from him. Okay, maybe it was more like three steps away. “Why are you watching me?”His face was impassive, making it impossible to read his thoughts or feelings. His expression didn’t change as he answered my questions. “I’m waiting for your recruitment. It’s supposed to take place any day now.”“My recruitment? I think you have the wrong girl.” I couldn’t understand a word he was saying.He glanced in the direction the bus had gone. “I believe you may have missed your interview. I’m sorry, I’m not sure what compelled me to save your life.”“You’re seriously apologising for saving my life?!”“Yes. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” His face was deadpan.Before I could respond, screeching tyres and a revving engine made me turn. I was just in time to see a beat-up car come around the corner and flip.I felt a moment of pain as the car hit me, but darkness swallowed the sensation. I was brought out of it by a familiar voice.“Welcome, Reaper Recruit.”“I’m dead, aren’t I?” My voice was flat.He smiled as if this was fantastic news. Great. Trust him to smile for the first time and it’s because I’m dead.He beckoned. “Now, you’re ready for your interview.”